34: Reclaiming Integrity: Healing from Sexual Addiction and Betrayal Trauma with Michelle Dyett-Welcome

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Narrator

Hello and welcome to Cherie Lindberg’s Elevated Life Academy. Stories of hope and healing. Through raw and heartfelt conversations, we uncover the powerful tools and strategies these individuals use to not only heal themselves, but also inspire those around them. Join us on this incredible journey as we discover the human spirit's remarkable capacity to heal, find hope in the darkest of moments, and ultimaately live an elevated life.

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Cherie Lindberg

Welcome, everyone, to another episode of The Elevated Life Academy, where we talk about stories of hope and healing and hopefully you've been listening to us. And as you know by now, I go around the world and I interview healers, and we have healers talk about some of maybe of their own healing journey and the things that they're bringing into the world to help bring more light and more peace and more healing to their clients and folks.

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Cherie Lindberg

And so today, I'm excited to invite Michelle Dyet welcome. And we're going to have her introduce herself here in just a second. And the topic today is going to be on addiction. Michelle is a beautiful healer and she works in the realm of addiction, so I'll let her share her story however she would like to hear. So Michelle, welcome to the podcast.

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Michelle Dyett

Hi Cherie, thank you so much. I am Michelle, as Cherie pointed out, and I work with sex addicts and partners of sex addicts and people who are going through traumas. That's the area in which I've been focusing in on that journey has been an interesting one because my degree is like in finance from my VA, and then I went to into rehabilitation counseling.

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Michelle Dyett

But I've always been interested in sex addiction and I've wanted to do it. And when I got the opportunity years later after finishing college, I decided to jump in. And I haven't looked back since that time. I like working with sex addicts, you know, as they're going through their recovery, but also the partners who are actually trying to heal from this betrayal trauma, which they didn't ask for to be able to support them as well.

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Michelle Dyett

On the side of the sex addicts, it really is. It's for their integrity. And on the side of the partners is really helping them to feel empowered, reclaiming their identity and discovering their remarkable. This is something specific you can, you know, you should share about myself.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, I think it would be good to to, you know, just share your, your background to and internal family systems and how you approach that. Yeah. Please share anything about that.

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Michelle Dyett

Well I am level two trained in internal family systems. And I found that it's been a game changer in terms of allowing the sex addict to be able to really connect with those parts in oneself. That feels a lot of shame, a lot of guilt, because a lot of times they can be labeled, you know, as monsters, as narcissists and all those other names or tags that people want to throw around these days.

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Michelle Dyett

Man, it was a lot of shame, which blocks the work, but when we're able to actually befriend these parts, it allows for them to have some kind of compassion for themselves. But then also curiosity about what exactly caused them to actually operate in this way. And so they're able to lean in more a little bit to be able to connect with those parts of themselves that are actually having these acting out behaviors.

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Michelle Dyett

And when we get into that realm, we find a lot of times it stems from their childhood because they went through some stuff and they were trying to soothe or cope with their situation. And it's just that that way of operating is no longer supporting them. It's no longer beneficial to them. And so when we're able to get their story, we are able to unburden those parts.

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Michelle Dyett

We're able to hear them and support them with some self energy, which makes a difference. So it's not just about going through a recovery process like a 12 step. It's actually them start to connect with themselves that they had been judging, that society has judged that their partners had to judge and being able to hold them, you know, tenderly sacredly and being able to give them that compassion, give them that support.

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Michelle Dyett

So this way they can actually heal the traumas that they have gone through before in life when they were younger.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, beautiful. And so when you work on the other side with the betrayal partner, do you also work with parts on that side as well?

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Michelle Dyett

I do, I do because the betrayal trauma really brings up feelings of not being good enough. You know, not being enough, not being worthy, you know, and there's a lot of comparison parts, you know, comparing themselves to the images if they're into porn, if their partner was into porn, or if they are actually have an acting partner, they start comparing themselves.

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Michelle Dyett

And that tends to go into areas like body shaming that they're not pretty enough, they're not smart enough, you know, and things like that. And so those parts can get very activated. And so social media can be a very triggering thing, you know. So we have parts that can be very activated over that. Or when you find out the details, if they go through a disclosure, you find out what the details so and how widespread or pervasive it might have been then.

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Michelle Dyett

Yeah a lot of parts can be triggered. Insecurity. Same partners can carry a lot of shame as well if they're in the realm of the church, even there's some shame that comes in with that. You weren't a good enough wife or partner, you know, and so they can take on those things. And so we explore those parts as well to be able to help them to connect with it.

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Michelle Dyett

Well, to get the real story, what's going on. Because sometimes that also is because the conditioning, you know, we are products of our environments. When we were in our families, in society, in schools. And so a lot of time that shapes the way that we look at ourselves and the way that we might respond in situations. And so by being able to connect with those parts, we are able to get a fuller picture of what else is at play.

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Michelle Dyett

And again, they too are able to hold those parts with compassion and curiosity as they're trying to heal from the betrayal trauma and regain their identity. Who am I really? You know, because a lot of times their identity can be shaped because of the betrayal trauma. But is that really who you are? The betrayal trauma is an incident, something that happened to you, but do you really want it to define who you are and how you show up in the world?

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Michelle Dyett

Because it can get them to start to divorce themselves from their values, divorce themselves from their uniqueness or their remarkable ness. They're not seeing that anymore. And so when I work with partners, it really is to help them to start to see themselves for who they really are, the powerful person that they are, that unique individual. And to be able to start to celebrate it.

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Michelle Dyett

Yes, you can hold two things at the same time. You can hold the pain, but you can also hold the joy and the celebration of I am this remarkable person. I'm a resilient person. You can hold both those in the same space, okay. But you need to be able to identify what those things are that make you unique, that make you remarkable.

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Michelle Dyett

And so when I work with them, is to help them to see themselves not in the context of the betrayal trauma, but who they really are at the core.

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Cherie Lindberg

Right. Well, take us, take us through, you know, give us a little bit of a snapshot. This is an eight week group, if I'm not mistaken. Give me a little snapshot of what that is like.

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Michelle Dyett

Well, the group that I'm going to be running in January, annually, February of next year is really for the men right now. Okay. And that's an integrity group. And the name of the group is The New Man of Integrity Overcoming Sex Addiction Through interconnection. And this group here will focus in on not only internal family systems where they're getting to know their parts in this realm, but also them in Wally's deceptive sexuality model, which is an integrity abuse model because it is abuse, you know, when you are actually betraying your partner in this capacity, okay, because there's a lot of other things that go into it, like the lie, the gaslighting, the omissions, the manipulation.

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Michelle Dyett

You're playing with their reality. And so that's abusive. This person who has trusted you, you're playing with their mind by having your, say, secret basement. You have this secret world that they didn't know anything about. You know that you're doing all these things, but yet they're going to feel the repercussions of that once it comes out. Because not only is it a mental thing, because you have to be denying that you're not doing these things when they are sick, sense the kidney in the gut.

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Michelle Dyett

Instinct is kick in and you have to lie to them, and then they start to believe you. But then also you're spending out the family money, the finances. You're also putting them. If you are engaged with a person, you're putting them at risk for STDs, and you take away their power of choice. They did not sign up for this.

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Michelle Dyett

They signed up for the type of relationship that you all agreed with is monogamous or what have you, but they agreed to that because they knew about that. But when you kept the information away from them, they didn't have any choice in that. But yet they're dealing with a fallout of it. And so this group really is going to focus in on what it looks like to work in integrity.

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Michelle Dyett

And they are different types of integrity that we have. You know, we had the self integrity. We have the integrity as with a partner, we have suicide integrity, we have the integrity in the workplace. And so we're going to look at the different types of integrity to see which one really shows up for them. We're going to connect with parts.

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Michelle Dyett

We want to know those managers that are coming in to try to control the situation. We want to know the firefighters, the ones that tries to soothe and to get you to just tune out, get numb. We want to get to know those. We want you to build that kind of awareness. You know that those are present, and the program really is set up in a way that helps you to try to transition into moving away from activated parts into more of yourself energy, because we're going to discuss about what that looks like and what the qualities of self is and how you can actually build that.

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Michelle Dyett

It's an experiential group. So we're going to be doing a lot of exercises to actually get you to connect with your body. So there's going to be some somatic stuff, you know, because I'm also a somatic coach. So this is going to be tuning into your body. And not everybody feels comfortable with that because sometimes the body might not feel safe.

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Michelle Dyett

And so we would go as far as is comfortable for you because we want to respect those parts. Is a part of you that say, let it be saying, hey, this might not be safe for me right now. Well, what might feel safe? Can we get permission to go in a little bit, even if it's 10%, you know, and so it's really cool to be encouraging them to tune into that because that awareness helps to connect them, because a lot of times people live in separation.

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Michelle Dyett

But you have one being right. And so your body can actually give you a lot of information and is holding a lot of your experiences. And so without connecting with your body, we're missing some vital information.

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Cherie Lindberg

So that sounds like a really intense group. Curious. You know, this is a really sensitive subject. And I mean, especially with what you were saying about around Shane. So I'm just wondering, how do you get you're saying that this is an all men's group that you're going to be starting. How do you connect with them to get them to or support them?

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Cherie Lindberg

How do they get ready for something like that?

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Michelle Dyett

Well, I don't know that you really get ready, but you know that there's a willingness am I willing to do whatever it takes, right, in order to be able to become this person, this new man of integrity? Am I willing to do whatever it takes to be able to heal my relationship with my partner? Yeah. Why is important?

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Michelle Dyett

What is the motivation behind it? Is it for you or is it for another? If it's for you, then you're more vested at this. For another, you can get irritated if things don't work out or if the person doesn't respond the way that you would like them to, if that makes sense. You know? And so we really want to know their commitment.

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Michelle Dyett

Why is this a problem for you? We know that is causing it might be causing disruptions and issues in the relationship, but why is it a problem for you? You know, what are your values here? You know, if one of your values is that I want to be a person of integrity or I want to be able to be truthful, and I used to be, but not so much now then, okay, you want to return to something that was very much a part of your identity.

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Michelle Dyett

And so that's different than saying, okay, I just want to save my, my marriage. I don't want to break up my home and stuff like that, because then that's external pressure is not really you living inside of your beingness, who you are and who you want to be and how you want to show up in the world with consistency and so it matters.

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Michelle Dyett

You know the why. And so this group is for individuals that are willing to actually stay in there because it might challenge is going to stretch is being in the fire okay. Because we have to acknowledge, hey, this is integrity abuse. What I've been doing is wrong. I'm playing with somebody else's reality. And that's not who I want to be.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, I hear you. I like really it's got to come from inside of them and a willingness and a choice, like you said, to do what it takes to really get back to the person that they want to be in the world.

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Michelle Dyett

And I'll add this, you know, that sometimes they they may not have like that experience. They may have always had to lie, they have always had to hide. And that means that there's parts of them that's trying to protect them with those lies. Right. So they might be a lying part, deceptive part. And so by exploring that, we will get to understand those parts.

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Michelle Dyett

What is their story. And that also it will be insightful because then we can try to unburden those parts or at the very least have compassion for those parts. So we're not judging them, because when there's that judgment like that's a bad part, we're setting ourselves against ourself. Yes, House divided can't stand. So if you're divided within yourself, how can you actually be a whole person?

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Michelle Dyett

How can you embrace the totality of who you are? You know? And so those parts, even though the actions may not seem beneficial, they're trying to protect you. And while we can get to that understanding, we're able to have some compassion for that. And then we can say, okay, maybe with myself energy of compassion or of confidence or courage, I can support us to made this transition so those parts wouldn't have to do that heavy lifting anymore.

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Michelle Dyett

And they can actually ease back. Okay. And that's what we're trying to get to.

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Cherie Lindberg

So and we'll talk more about this group here in a second. Another aspect of this like you have phases and and you know, after you go through one group that they can continue. And one topic that you brought up that I thought was absolutely beautiful and that you could explain a little bit was the solace I would love to hear more about.

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Michelle Dyett

That is a more intensive integrity group, where we work on the solace, which is an African form of poetry, and it allows for the expression of those feelings, emotions that feel like they're inexpressible, that you're able to do that, and it's really telling the story of your parts in there. But part of that program is stepping into the shoes of your partner.

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Michelle Dyett

So it makes you wear their moccasins, so to speak. And so what would it be like if you embodied your partner and looked at it from her perspective? What would be the feelings that would be coming up? What are the parts that would be coming up? What are the thoughts? Right. The reactions and I found that it was so insightful when the guides would go through this, is that they would not be so quick to say, get over it.

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Michelle Dyett

They would not be rushing. You know, whenever I was like, okay, now that you've experienced this and you've seen it from her point of view, like how long would it take you to get over it? How long would you give yourself to get over it? They couldn't do it, but yet they had that expectation of their partner. Well, I've been at this for a year.

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Michelle Dyett

I've been at this for two years and she's still doesn't trust me that well. If it was you, how much time would you give it before you say, okay, now I'm over it. None of them could answer that question. They couldn't put a timeframe on it because it's going to take as long as it takes.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, well, and I hear even through that poetry, like you're helping them cultivate some empathy for their partners.

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Michelle Dyett

Yeah. Is looking at it from the partner's point of view. Okay. So this way you can actually lean in. So this way you can actually connect with them. So this way you can hold yourself energy I found that going straight into that more intensive is a little bit harder because they still had those reactive partners. So that's why I created this program that will go before it.

00;18;18;16 - 00;18;49;19

Michelle Dyett

Because if you are able to deal with your parts from your own history, your own background first and be able to get to know them and have that self-compassion, then we're able to cultivate some self energy, which will allow you to be able to hold those parts if they're getting, you know, agitated, activated, you can, you know, how to actually work with them to be able to respond to them, how to be able to talk to them, to be able to let them know that they can trust you and that you are going to be in support of them.

00;18;49;26 - 00;19;15;15

Michelle Dyett

And it makes it a little bit easier than when you have to step into that fire right with your partner. Then you have self energy. You're like, okay, I'm getting triggered here, okay, why am I getting triggered here? She's sharing how I've hurt her, how I've wronged her. Why is it that my parts of getting activated, can I ask this part to please step to allow me to be able to continue to connect with her on that?

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Michelle Dyett

I'll attend to you after. And so it gives them the skills that they might need to be able to be in support of their partner. It has. Sometimes it's really hard to sit there and see all the devastation, because there's multiple parts that could get triggered in the the sex addict as they're trying to do that, and then it can impact the behavior, which would come across more unsympathetic, unsympathetic.

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Michelle Dyett

And so we want to be able to set them up for success or to have better results, to be able to support their partners, right them dealing with their insides first.

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Cherie Lindberg

So share with me you've done this group before and you've been working with this population. So we always ask some stories of hope and healing from this process. Do you have any that are coming to mind?

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Michelle Dyett

I think that it's very hard to say that anybody has really been fully successful where they haven't had like a slip. But what I do have success is that they are slipping times if they coveted over before and they wouldn't say anything for 6 or 7 months, and then now they're able to share within two weeks. That's progress, you know.

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Michelle Dyett

So they are moving toward because it's not like you go through this course and all of a sudden, like you turn around. It's a process. It took a process to get you here, and it's going to take you a process to get out. You have to put in your reps. I don't just go to the gym and say, okay, I'm going to start lifting weights, and then tomorrow I'm going to have the muscles.

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Michelle Dyett

Now I have to be consistent with that stretching, doing it, being disciplined, and that's what's required, you know. And so I celebrate them when they make those kind of shifts because it is a big deal. They're not hiding. They want to be honest. They have those disclosures. They sit down to have those panels, you know, the meetings with their spouse every day.

00;21;14;00 - 00;21;42;23

Michelle Dyett

And the check ins here. Here we go. There. They're tracking the slip behaviors, okay. And they let the partner know rather than the partner having to discover it. So we're talking about disclosure versus discovery which is it makes a big difference. Also the intensity or frequency. We celebrate those things. If you were doing it every day, three times a day before watching the porn, and you're able to get it down to once a week, that is still progress.

00;21;42;23 - 00;22;09;19

Michelle Dyett

We don't discount those things because you're moving in the direction that we would like to go. Okay. And so when I think about my clients, you know, that's the things that we actually honor because them is becoming less. And those are the things that we capture in the causal list. Right. Because we have a causal of celebration. What it is, some of the things that you want to celebrate, you know, that you're recognizing has changed.

00;22;09;21 - 00;22;20;01

Michelle Dyett

It can take a little bit, you know, for that change to come in. But nonetheless, we want to be on the lookout for those because they're still worthy of acknowledgment.

00;22;20;03 - 00;22;34;00

Cherie Lindberg

So you're bringing this out into the world to work with, with this population. And so I always ask healers why are you bringing this out into the world? And what are other things that you want to bring out into the world for healing?

00;22;34;05 - 00;22;53;18

Michelle Dyett

I'll be honest with you, I love causality because it allowed me to be able to process and deal with some of my own traumas, family traumas, you know, traumas of being a person of color, where in in a lot of white spaces, I was not able to be me, you know, or that I was judged or perceived a certain way.

00;22;53;20 - 00;23;16;23

Michelle Dyett

And there was so much that was being contained and held by this dealt with the child trauma from workspaces get out. And so the kasowitz allowed for me to be able to express those things that I found inexpressible. Being from a family that is very religious, you couldn't I couldn't tell my parents what was really going on in my mind.

00;23;16;23 - 00;23;37;16

Michelle Dyett

I had to keep those things, but nonetheless, those things were very present for me. The solace allowed me to be able to express those things on the job. You know, when I get those microaggressions, when I was working before, oh, I couldn't say anything, or else I knew that it would have a direct impact on me and my family with our finances.

00;23;37;20 - 00;24;10;16

Michelle Dyett

And so there's things I had to swallow. The silence allowed me to be able to do that, and to be able to express my righteous anger about those things. And so I found is such a powerful medium for myself that I had to incorporate it in the work that I'm doing because it's like, wait a minute. It allows you not to have to go through the talk therapy, so to speak, but you just connect and then you're allowing your imagination, but also your real lived experience to come in in a way that's artistic.

00;24;10;19 - 00;24;34;13

Michelle Dyett

Because we use we use metaphors, we use analogies, we use very vivid language. We use nature in it. I'm a certified nature guide, and so I love being out in nature. And so I use those elements. We can weave the elements into the chrysalis, and we can harness the strength of weathers, the strength of elephants, or the strength, you know, of a lion or tiger.

00;24;34;17 - 00;24;58;23

Michelle Dyett

We can actually put that in there. We can use colors, do color therapy too. So it's like, oh, it allows us to be as expansive as we're willing to do it and as creative as we want to be. You know, in that space, there's no limits except the limits that you put on yourself. And so the Kassala, the one prerequisite for it to be a Kassala, it has to be performed.

00;24;58;25 - 00;25;20;29

Michelle Dyett

That means that we have to perform it in the group. And so the men, the men have to perform their kasell's voice for the rest of the group. We're able to celebrate them, celebrate their achievements, celebrate their insights, you know, and then also hold them accountable. Because when we're talking about the in this man of integrity, they they write a puzzle about that.

00;25;20;29 - 00;25;42;24

Michelle Dyett

What does that man of integrity look like? What does he do? How does he show up? What are the things that he says? How is he and is support of his partner and family, his kids? How does he show up on that job? And you're able to put it into that format? And we use Meru full name, powerful names to be able to solidify.

00;25;42;26 - 00;26;02;04

Michelle Dyett

This is who I am, and this is how I'm going to be showing up in the world. And so it makes a difference, because now it opens your eyes to see there is more to you than just this addiction. There's more to you in terms of who you are. You know, I am a man of integrity. I show up with honesty.

00;26;02;07 - 00;26;23;01

Michelle Dyett

I give my family hope. It's like I'm willing to change. I am Sade Bryan, the sympathetic and empathetic one, and you're able to start to embody that. And so when you're speaking about that, how does that feel inside when you're saying it? How is it resonating in your body? Which parts of your body is actually coming in agreement with what it is that your statement?

00;26;23;01 - 00;26;44;16

Michelle Dyett

Is it in alignment? Are you actually in self integrity? Are you telling yourself the truth or are you like use that the sense in to be able to do that. And so I love the South because there's so much possibilities. We do a grief Kassala. There's another program that I have that's around that as well because we're betrayal trauma.

00;26;44;16 - 00;27;07;10

Michelle Dyett

There is grief. There's a loss, especially on the side of the partners. The future that they thought that they had signed up for is not the reality that they have. So there's a lot of grief there, but there's also anger, rightfully so. And so they get to express all those things in the cassava, and it allows them to process it, because sometimes they might feel so overwhelmed.

00;27;07;16 - 00;27;30;11

Michelle Dyett

If I actually let this thing out, I'm just going to blow up everything around me. Well, in the Kassala you can blow it up while you want, you can share it and you will have others there to witness and support you and say, yes, we understand. Yes, we know. And so this way it normalizes it and makes you know that you're not alone as you're going through this.

00;27;30;11 - 00;27;48;22

Michelle Dyett

And I think that's one of the powerful things I found it helpful for me to process some things, and I have witnessed how it has helped my clients to be able to process theirs, because it gives a little bit more space for them to invite things in that would be more beneficial and supportive of them.

00;27;48;22 - 00;28;12;25

Cherie Lindberg

Now I really hear the power of it, and I also hear the embodiment of it, the alignment of it, and I to me, that sounds very soul work on what you're doing. So I always ask this, you know, I'm getting to I'm asking this question of the healers that are coming on. Michelle, when are you in your best self?

00;28;12;28 - 00;28;20;25

Cherie Lindberg

Like, what work are you doing? Or what hobbies are you doing? Or as a healer, when do you feel like you are in your best self?

00;28;21;01 - 00;28;46;12

Michelle Dyett

I would have to say that I'm in my best self. What I'm creating, you know, I am a very creative soul, a creative individual, a creative visionary, and I love working with my hands. I, I make jewelry, I make homemade cards. At one point I was making candles, I design t shirts, I write books, I design programs, you know?

00;28;46;12 - 00;29;06;22

Michelle Dyett

So anything creative, I love to that I can write more. So so, you know, so it's like anything creative that I find interesting, I don't have them on me. But I also made some jewelry, you know, rings, gold rings, you know, because I want to learn metal smithing. I was like, oh, you know, and I had the opportunity to do it.

00;29;06;22 - 00;29;26;22

Michelle Dyett

So anytime I'm in that creative space, I love it. Writing poetry. I've always been a poet. I've written poetry since I was young. In one of my outlets, I write songs. I just wish I knew how to play an instrument, right, and I did. I wish I didn't rebel against that when I was growing up, because I would have been God knows where I would have been if I was able to do that.

00;29;26;22 - 00;29;47;28

Michelle Dyett

But, you know, but in the creative space, and my mind tends to work best in that space. And so if I need to be recharged, I go to creating something and I get recharged to get my energy back. And so if I'm tying this back into ISIS, into a family system, that is one of the qualities of self creativity.

00;29;48;01 - 00;30;07;10

Michelle Dyett

Okay. So very much is a part of me, and it does help me to be able to express myself and hold myself because I'm able to get that in whatever it is that I put my mind to it. I have a creative aspect. It is a creative avenue that I can pursue with that, that I'm in that place.

00;30;07;10 - 00;30;08;23

Michelle Dyett

I'm in that zone.

00;30;08;26 - 00;30;14;11

Cherie Lindberg

You. Thank you. Yeah, I'm just thinking, Michelle, the creator, that's that's kind of what came to my mind.

00;30;14;11 - 00;30;20;00

Michelle Dyett

And I received that powerful name. Okay. Because you just gave me what? Michelle the creator. Yes.

00;30;20;03 - 00;30;34;24

Cherie Lindberg

Well, I want to thank you for coming on the podcast today. And please tell the audience here you're going to be starting this group the end of January roughly, right? It's going to be for eight weeks. Where can they reach you?

00;30;34;26 - 00;30;58;23

Michelle Dyett

Yeah, it's the end of January. It's going to be for eight weeks. You can reach me at Michelle McLean.com And you can just send me an email and I'll send you the information. The course is a two $2,500, but when you email me we're going to have to go through an assessment to make sure that you're the right fit for the program, because it's not for everybody.

00;30;58;23 - 00;31;13;22

Michelle Dyett

You have to be committed, willing to do the work because it's going to demand a lot from you, is going to have books, exercises, a lot of somatic work, a lot of meditations. And so it's going to be pretty intensive.

00;31;13;23 - 00;31;15;16

Cherie Lindberg

It's going to be in person or online.

00;31;15;16 - 00;31;20;05

Michelle Dyett

Michelle is going to be online, okay. It's going to be online okay.

00;31;20;12 - 00;31;43;13

Cherie Lindberg

And we'll make sure that we have all your social media sites and everything in the show. Notes of the podcast. And again, I just want to thank you for being on here and talking about, you know, let's be frank, the topic often is pretty taboo. Like you were talking earlier about how folks that have porn addiction, you know, their their society causes them, you know, like there's lots of judgment around this.

00;31;43;13 - 00;32;14;03

Cherie Lindberg

So I thought it was a really important topic. And I really loved how you talked about integrity and compassion, understanding, embodiment, all those concepts and supporting people that are dealing with this issue to be able to heal and that you measure healing by change, not necessarily like, oh, it's one and done, but more about okay, instead of five times a week, it's one time and we're going to celebrate that because that's a change.

00;32;14;03 - 00;32;16;13

Cherie Lindberg

You're working your progression.

00;32;16;15 - 00;32;36;13

Michelle Dyett

And I'll, I'll piggyback on that. It is a taboo topic, and I think a lot of people don't really know how to deal with it. And I would mention that even inside the church, one of the other programs that I hope to bring out more is betrayal trauma religious leaders, because a lot of times in the church, they don't know how to support the partners.

00;32;36;20 - 00;32;58;17

Michelle Dyett

Yeah, who are going through this and the partners and the a lot of times, leaving the church or being ostracized where they go through the experience of their situation being preached from the pulpit, and that the sex addict is the one that gets supports. Everybody rallies around in the fallen sinner or whatever. And then he gets all the support and she gets ostracized.

00;32;58;17 - 00;33;21;02

Michelle Dyett

Like you'd have to have done something wrong, you know? And it's kind of insulting, you know, to the partner, because sometimes it's, well, you weren't sexy enough or you didn't put enough effort into things like that. And I think that the religious leaders really could benefit from being more aware of what it is that they're actually dealing with, you know, have that kind of insight.

00;33;21;04 - 00;33;28;22

Michelle Dyett

So this way they can properly support the partners. And so one of the programs, again, is to actually help them to be able to do that.

00;33;28;24 - 00;33;46;29

Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, it is happening. And again, it's something that is hidden often we don't talk about. And so I really appreciate you braving this topic and coming on and sharing. And not only that, but willing to work with this population in, in the beautiful way that you've described. Thank you.

00;33;47;06 - 00;33;49;05

Michelle Dyett

I appreciate the invitation to be here.

00;33;49;11 - 00;34;17;12

Cherie Lindberg

You're very welcome. Thank you, everyone, for listening to this episode. I think it was really important that we talked about it or an addiction, a topic that is very taboo in our society that we often judge. And yeah, we often judge and we we look at people very negatively that had this issue and we don't necessarily seek to understand.

00;34;17;15 - 00;34;54;16

Cherie Lindberg

And I appreciated Michelle's candidness of coming in and working with this population, helping them, supporting them in their recovery and their desire to align with who they really are and to start to act with an integrity so that they can make a decision on how they want to show up in the world. And I really loved her talking about betrayal trauma as well, and how she also works with the partners and help them with their identity that gets impacted by this, and help them remember the remarkable human beings that they are.

00;34;54;19 - 00;35;20;26

Cherie Lindberg

So if you found this helpful, or if there is a loved one that you know might find this helpful, please share. And Michelle's going to be starting those groups the end of January. They're very beneficial and they help people really take a good look at some things that they've been doing during their suffering, help them heal and help them live a better elevated life, which, you know, is the topic of this podcast.

00;35;21;04 - 00;35;30;08

Cherie Lindberg

So as always, thank you so much for listening and pass it on to anyone that you think might benefit. Thank you so much.

00;35;30;10 - 00;35;49;06

Narrator

Thank you for joining us on another uplifting journey on Cherie Lindberg's Elevated Life Academy. Stories of Hope and healing. If you found resonance or connection with what you've heard today, we encourage you to share this episode and consider becoming a subscriber. Please spread the word so others can live an elevated life.