51: From Fear to Freedom: Gene Monterastelli on the Power of Tapping

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Narrator

Hello and welcome to Cherie Lindberg's Elevated Life Academy. Stories of hope and healing. Through raw and heartfelt conversations, we uncover the powerful tools and strategies these individuals use to not only heal themselves, but also inspire those around them. Join us on this incredible journey as we discover the human spirit's remarkable capacity to heal, find hope in the darkest of moments, and ultimately live an elevated life.

00;00;39;10 - 00;01;10;23

Cherie Lindberg

Welcome to another episode of Elevated Life Academy, and I am your host, Cherie Lindberg, and I'm excited to meet Gene for the first time today. And I'm going to have Gene introduce himself. And we're going to talk about tapping and all the ways that Gene uses it for healing. And how he teaches that. And I love all the different options that we bring to elevated life for folks to learn how to shift things inside, how to heal and tapping is a beautiful, natural way to do that.

00;01;10;23 - 00;01;13;15

Cherie Lindberg

So, Gene, tell us a little bit about yourself, please.

00;01;13;15 - 00;01;32;24

Gene Monterastelli

You bet. Thanks for having me. Sure, I appreciate it. So I am Gene Monterastelli, I'm the host of the tapping Q&A podcast, which just turned 18.5 years old. And I, you know, I run a website called tapping Q&A, and my primary work is basically twofold. One is making a tool that is very simple, which is tapping easy to use.

00;01;32;24 - 00;01;42;03

Gene Monterastelli

Just because something as simple doesn't necessarily mean that it's easy. And so then once we get people tapping more often, my primary work is helping folks to live authentic lives that they love.

00;01;42;06 - 00;01;54;29

Cherie Lindberg

Yes, I absolutely love that we are so aligned. And that's why Bonnie, my assistant, was just like, oh, we got to have Gene. So thank you for coming on here. So how did you arrive to this tool in your own life?

00;01;54;29 - 00;02;13;27

Gene Monterastelli

So in my 20s and 30s, I made my living as a performer and I worked for a buddy of mine. We combine generally sketch comedy, drama, storytelling, traveled all over the U.S. and Canada and performed in all 50 states, five Canadian provinces, and was Pope John Paul the Second's opening act in front of 40,000 young people in Saint Louis, Missouri.

00;02;14;00 - 00;02;39;13

Gene Monterastelli

And, you know, standing on stage was as easy as breathing. And I could not answer my own phone. I couldn't ask for help and store. And when I lived in Baltimore, the way that you the shuttle bus to the parking garage was basically you just had to say, hey, stop. And they would stop and I couldn't. And so I would wait until someone else said stop and I would get off the van with my luggage and my 50 pounds of juggling props and carry them to wherever my car was.

00;02;39;13 - 00;02;59;26

Gene Monterastelli

And so fears grow over time, because we get proof that something like, I'm afraid something's going to go wrong. I only remember through confirmation bias the things that went wrong. And so I just slowly and slowly the my world was getting smaller and smaller, which wasn't great, but it was my life. And there was a summer 19 years ago.

00;02;59;27 - 00;03;18;11

Gene Monterastelli

I had two friends of mine who were doing really big things, and they needed help, and I wanted to help them, and I offered to help them, which required me to make phone calls, which I could not do. And so then I was lying to them about not making phone calls for them. And so now I was becoming a hindrance to two of my friends chasing really big vocational things.

00;03;18;11 - 00;03;41;19

Gene Monterastelli

And so that was kind of my rock bottom moment, like it was one thing that my life was getting smaller. It was another thing that I was compensating for this and harming the people around me while traveling. I, I'm super dyslexic, so I love audio. I love audio books. I had an iPod as it was 20 years ago, full of full of tele seminars that people had done.

00;03;41;22 - 00;03;59;09

Gene Monterastelli

And so we had a layover in Pittsburgh airport, and I was just walking laps around the Pittsburgh airport because I knew I was going to be sitting a lot on a long flight, and someone was doing a book launch, and they brought on this tapping expert. I knew nothing about tapping. 20 minutes later, I knew even less. Which is funny because this person is now a very good friend of mine.

00;03;59;09 - 00;04;18;29

Gene Monterastelli

This person is a fabulous teacher. I want to go find those 20 minutes. We've even joked about going find these old 20 minutes because it was such like I just walked away, had fuzed and so I but that's interesting. And at the time there was a free guide created by Gary Craig. The version of his version of tapping is called Emotional Freedom Techniques.

00;04;19;01 - 00;04;35;29

Gene Monterastelli

I mean, a free guide, I downloaded it, I started learning it, and I started this because it's something that is super, super easy to do. Now. It can be applied lots of ways. We can have a more comprehensive conversation about that. But as I was traveling like so and like I have a headache or oh, I don't want to go smoke the cigaret, I'm like, I know the weirdest thing.

00;04;35;29 - 00;05;07;24

Gene Monterastelli

Let me show you the weirdest thing. And so at the time, Gary Craig, his newsletter was basically sharing anecdotes that people had mailed him, not studies, but just people are like, hey, this came up with me or my client, or we tried this thing. And so I just wrote up a couple of my experiences just casually, and they got published with my email address, and people started emailing me, asking me questions because they liked my style or what I was talking with, like, and this is again, just this is a hobbyist, like, I just like I mean, the hobbyist at this point, I am an enthusiast.

00;05;07;24 - 00;05;27;28

Gene Monterastelli

I'm just a tapping enthusiast. So people start writing me and I think, boy, that's really inefficient for me to write back. So I created a blogspot blog, and I took one of those questions and I answered it. And then I went through one year of Gary's newsletter, and I got the email address of every person who had an article published, and I just sent them an email saying, hey, this is my experience.

00;05;27;28 - 00;05;51;14

Gene Monterastelli

I bet you had this experience too. If you ever want to answer a question, I'm putting up a question answer website again, just for fun, I sent 250 emails. I received 26 replies, 24 were very positive, one was very negative, very protective of Gary. Happens no big deal. And one was from Doctor Carrington, who wrote one of the very first scientific studies on meditation and a tapping expert, someone I knew of.

00;05;51;14 - 00;06;09;24

Gene Monterastelli

I didn't know her, but like I watched your DVDs, I knew who this person was, and I didn't realize I'd emailed her because literally, I had just copied and paste all the email addresses, like opened an email and just created a spreadsheet email everybody. And she's like, I have to talk to you. And I'm reading this email standing in the Apple Store handing my computer over.

00;06;09;24 - 00;06;29;26

Gene Monterastelli

So I could fly to Houston to be healed back before they fix computers in the store. And I'm reading this email and I'm like, I'd love to talk to you. Here's my phone number. Give me a call. As I mentioned, I dyslexic. So I go home. I'm excited, doesn't call. I'm disappointed. I go to Kinko's the next day to check email on one of their public computers, and they're five frantic messages for Pat.

00;06;29;29 - 00;06;48;07

Gene Monterastelli

And she's like, I need to talk to you. I need to talk to you. Dyslexic me had mistyped my own phone number. So I call her and she's like, I have a book going to press next week and I have an entire chapter written on the first question you answered and you said to me, I have none of the information in your chapter in my book.

00;06;48;09 - 00;07;04;02

Gene Monterastelli

Can I include this as an appendix to that chapter? I'll pay you a dollar. She never paid me, but that's okay. And then she's like, well, how come you write so well? I'm like, I don't. I got an email this week saying, I know English isn't your first language. Yeah, dyslexia is you. You explain things well and I'm like, well, that's how I am.

00;07;04;02 - 00;07;23;10

Gene Monterastelli

I'm a professional storyteller. Like that's why I do explain things for a living. She said, would you ever write for my newsletter? So over the next 18 months, if Pat sent out an email and there were two articles, she wrote one and I wrote one, and if there's one article is mine, and she include my thank you little website, and I just started building a mailing list, I had no publication schedule.

00;07;23;10 - 00;07;37;20

Gene Monterastelli

Like some weeks I put have free things. Sometimes a month went because it was just it was literally just a hobby, something that was interesting. And nine months into it, I get an email from someone saying, can you please start selling stuff so I can buy it? And then six months after that, I got an email from someone saying, I really like your style.

00;07;37;20 - 00;08;03;09

Gene Monterastelli

Do you do phone sessions? And I'm like, oh right, this is a business, or this could be a business. And that's where it started. And yeah, and like I started a podcast again, super into audio. Don't read very, very well. Computer scientists I know technology like, you know, hand coding, RSS feeds and XML like things that we just don't have to think about anymore.

00;08;03;11 - 00;08;18;22

Gene Monterastelli

This was an episode where you had someone edit it, they uploaded it, they hit publish. It went everywhere to the world like that. That is not the state of the world. 20 years ago and when I started my podcast, I will start my podcast because I just wanted free training because, you know, people, me included, we're having this conversation.

00;08;18;28 - 00;08;45;02

Gene Monterastelli

We'll show up someplace going, I want to interview you and healing professionals, tapping practitioners in particular, very, very bad marketing themselves. But they're really, really good at going, go listen to me somewhere else. And so I just reached out to ten people I really admire and say, I'm starting this thing, can I interview you? And every single one of them said yes, because it meant that I got to be the only student, provide the syllabus and get the training for free, and then share it with the world.

00;08;45;02 - 00;09;04;24

Gene Monterastelli

And so that was just kind of that was my entryway into all of it. In the beginning, I was just a generalist because tapping is a tool that does lots and lots of different things. And as time passed, I really real. I realized that I really enjoy helping people to eliminate the resistance to taking the action to create the lives that they want.

00;09;04;24 - 00;09;27;05

Gene Monterastelli

And the way I discovered this was I was revamping my website, and I needed a new freebie for my mailing list. And instead of creating something new, I just looked at everything I'd produced in the three previous years. And all of a sudden I saw, you know, looking backwards. I saw this path where I kept coming back to over and over again, this idea of taking small, tangible action to create change in your life.

00;09;27;08 - 00;09;43;28

Gene Monterastelli

And now, now I have the vocabulary like I describe myself as a practical list. I don't care what the biggest issue is, I don't care about the worst thing that's ever happened is I care about what is the thing that is in the way of me taking an action, you know, like like one of my one of my units.

00;09;44;06 - 00;09;58;23

Gene Monterastelli

So I'm a coffee mug as a reminder, one of my mantras is is first action, best action. What is the thing that I can do to make it easier? And we already do this. Like, if you're gonna do something hard, sit in your desk, worry, have a hard conversation, like, okay, what are the four things I want to make sure I say?

00;09;58;28 - 00;10;22;29

Gene Monterastelli

Like we're already in some cases, when something is hard, we're used to setting up to do that thing. For me, I just recognize that if I'm able to change my resource state of change, a belief about myself or the world before I take an action, every action I take is going to be easier. We always take the highest value task that is emotionally safe first, not the highest value task, but the highest value task that's emotionally safe.

00;10;23;05 - 00;10;29;08

Gene Monterastelli

And the problem with that is, is typically the highest value task has stakes because it's high value.

00;10;29;11 - 00;10;30;00

Cherie Lindberg

That's right.

00;10;30;00 - 00;10;50;03

Gene Monterastelli

And so like so for at doing so if we don't for me if I don't approach the resistance and the fear and the concern which is all natural, I spend a little lot of time in the middle third of my to do list, like, I'm not I'm not doing nothing, but I'm not doing the high value thing. So then my work just took this real bend towards the sense of authentic action.

00;10;50;06 - 00;11;06;04

Gene Monterastelli

And then a couple of years ago, I just realized that, and this is true for the transformational space tappers are no different. I just realized that there are lots and lots of folks who are method collectors. Like they were just learning things, but they weren't actually using them in their life. And a method collector, that is, there's a term that comes from magic.

00;11;06;05 - 00;11;18;23

Gene Monterastelli

You know, I was a juggler. I am now a magician and a mentalist for fun. I enjoy stage in that particular way, but there are lots of people in magic who like my tricks to learn how to do them, and they'll never perform them. And there's nothing wrong with that. Map setting settings you want to know except somatic collector.

00;11;18;25 - 00;11;37;06

Gene Monterastelli

When it comes to transformation, I don't think being a method collector is a useful thing. And I got to the point that, like when I was working with clients, I stopped asking the question, did you tap on that because Quinn is reporting, hey, I struggle with this thing. And so I'm trying to assess what intervention they chose. How did they respond?

00;11;37;13 - 00;11;55;28

Gene Monterastelli

They knew they should have tapped on it. They didn't. And when I asked the question, they heard, did you tap on that? Like I'm asking a question of information. They hear a question of accusation. And so bumping into that over time, I recognize the fact that tapping again is one of those things. It is simple, but it is not easy.

00;11;56;00 - 00;12;20;04

Gene Monterastelli

And it's one of those things when someone else is guiding you through it. Everything they're saying is not revolutionary. Like, rarely do I say anything that my client doesn't think is true. But there's a different thing between hearing something that feels natural and true and coming up with it on your own. And so people experienced tapping in a way, was so easy and so effortless, and it's so powerful.

00;12;20;04 - 00;12;43;12

Gene Monterastelli

And when I sit down to do it on their own and they don't know where to start, and that resistance of not knowing where to start and not wanting to waste time and not wanting to be dumb, they don't do it. So like the second kind of layer of my work of late has been, how do we position people in transformation not to know what to do, but to actually use a tool.

00;12;43;12 - 00;13;05;27

Gene Monterastelli

And I mean, like I, I have I refer to it as my PDF graveyard. You know, I have a file folder on my desk of MP3's and videos and PDFs and summits and seminars and things that I might have consumed some of. And I got it because it would be really awesome to change my life. And I just, you know, it sits in this graveyard that never gets visited.

00;13;05;29 - 00;13;23;02

Gene Monterastelli

And so just kind of like is turning to the basic tool itself. My focus really has been on how do we get people to do it in the moment? Because if you start doing it in the moment and so, you know, that has taken me on another journey about how I think about the tool set and how I teach it.

00;13;23;02 - 00;13;53;14

Gene Monterastelli

But that's just kind of the primary work. Like I want I want to help people to use the intervention tools they have more often, whatever those are. And I want to help them to understand how to use those tools to take action, because so often the problem is, you know, and we live in a time, we live in a therapist time, and we know how to talk about initial sensitizing events and attachment theory and like, family systems and like we all have this vocabulary.

00;13;53;21 - 00;14;14;02

Gene Monterastelli

We don't know necessarily what to do with it. Some friends of mine who run an organization called the Peaceful Heart Network, which is brought tapping to over 300,000 migrants, immigrants, refugees, prisoners all over the world in 45 countries. I run a fundraiser for them every single year, and they introduced me to a really interesting piece of vocabulary. They said, I don't want you to be trauma informed.

00;14;14;02 - 00;14;32;17

Gene Monterastelli

I want you to be trauma competent, trauma informed means I recognize trauma, but that doesn't mean we know what to do with it. And I think we live in a we live in a top trauma informed time. Like this is vocabulary that we're used to having, but we don't live in a trauma competent time. You know, I am automotive informed.

00;14;32;18 - 00;15;03;05

Gene Monterastelli

I live in New York. I don't own a car anymore, but when I own a car, I know when there's a problem with my car. I am informed about the automotive health. I am not competent about the automotive health, like my level of competency is. I'm calling my mechanic. And so like as we're like engaging with these tools and these processes, I'm just trying to find a way where we have an entry point to use the tools, not just knowing this.

00;15;03;05 - 00;15;35;00

Gene Monterastelli

Again, like I can know that I have an issue. It doesn't have to be trauma, but I know I have. I have a limiting belief that is holding me back. I have a disproportionate emotional response to something that's informed that has been I know how to do anything with that. And so the thrust of my work for folks who are earlier in their tapping journey is and folks who are further along in their tapping journey, how do we more actively use the tools in an effective way to ensure if it is a 45 second piece of tapping that I do in the middle of the day?

00;15;35;03 - 00;15;59;22

Gene Monterastelli

Or if it is a me sitting down on a Saturday morning where I'm working on something much more comprehensive for 45 minutes, or it's me going on a healing retreat, or working with my practitioner like having a framework to know just wanting better is not sufficient to start, but it's not sufficient. And so trying to equip people to be able to know that I'm standing in a place where I want change.

00;15;59;24 - 00;16;11;09

Gene Monterastelli

What is my initial step to do that? Because simply I again, simply being informed about an issue is great, but my life doesn't change in any way when I go forward about it.

00;16;11;14 - 00;16;33;11

Cherie Lindberg

That's right, that's right. Oh, I love I gosh, I just love everything that you're saying. So what was coming up for me as I was listening, Gene, is, whether you know it or not, when you are holding that space for a client and like you said, walking them through the tapping because they will like, they'll freeze or they won't, they want to do the tapping you're tuning with them.

00;16;33;11 - 00;16;58;02

Cherie Lindberg

You're giving supportive energy to help them have the ability to do the tapping. And then it sounds like taking the next action step, and then maybe even creating like this habit where they are informed, they know that they're resisting, or they know that there's a block and now they have this new habit, like that's their go to to release so that they can not get in the way.

00;16;58;04 - 00;17;24;07

Gene Monterastelli

And the other thing that's changed for me in the last couple of years is I used to think tapping was an approach. I now think of it as a tool. And what I mean by that is, is that like so above my sink, there is a little metal strip that has a collection of knives that I bought at a set as a set from Cuisinart, and every single one of them has a cutting edge, but there is a paring knife.

00;17;24;12 - 00;17;48;24

Gene Monterastelli

There is a knife that's a procreate for vegetables. There's a knife that is appropriate for me. There's a knife that's appropriate for bread. And so even though the tool is exactly the same, the application is different. And so when something is happening inside of me, the question isn't did I tap on that? Or should I tap on that because that's a tool instead, what am I trying to do?

00;17;48;26 - 00;18;11;20

Gene Monterastelli

Am I trying to clear and transform a living thing? Belief. That's an approach. Am I trying to do emotional first aid in the moment? That's an approach. Am I trying to deal with a physical issue? That's an approach. Am I trying to overcome and heal a past wound? That's an approach. And so it's for me, it's not about reaching for tapping.

00;18;11;23 - 00;18;44;29

Gene Monterastelli

It's about what is the problem I'm trying to solve in this moment. And in the middle of the day when I'm really frustrated, my goal is not to clear the past story about my frustration right now, in the middle of the day, my goal is to lower the frustration enough so I can have a productive afternoon. And then, like I set time aside Tuesday after work and Saturday or Sunday morning, depending on the weekend, where I do a deep dive of stuff, I on average every ten days because it's about every week and a half.

00;18;44;29 - 00;19;00;09

Gene Monterastelli

I have a client call the practitioner, but not just trying to remember to tap. I'm trying to remember what's the problem I'm trying to solve and this is this is a question I ask my clients all the time. Like, I feel like I'm the data dumping all of this stuff like clients do, which is awesome because they're trying to get vocabulary out.

00;19;00;13 - 00;19;17;03

Gene Monterastelli

And so giving me all this information, I'm like, great, now what's the problem you're trying to solve? And you can let them go, Because maybe the problem I'm trying to solve is I don't want an emotional response. Maybe the problem I'm trying to solve is I want to take a new action in the face of things I don't control.

00;19;17;10 - 00;19;35;22

Gene Monterastelli

Maybe the problem I'm trying to solve is untangle myself from an unhealthy relationship. They don't know how to do that thing, and I might be trying to solve all three of those problems. Or I might be trying solve one of those problems. But the moment we name the thing we're trying to solve, any tool is easier to use.

00;19;35;24 - 00;19;57;06

Gene Monterastelli

You know, like, I'm going grocery shopping, I'm going to go buy stuff. Well, I only know what to buy if I know what the meal plan is for this week. I know you know my my parents just left town today, so I know there needs to be doctor Pepper and Raisin Bran Crunch in my apartment because my father is in town and he's very simple needs, but those are things he likes.

00;19;57;06 - 00;20;15;19

Gene Monterastelli

I make sure they're around. So the shopping before they came was directed by the problem I was trying to solve. And not that my father is a problem, but feeding my parents is something I needed to do. And so, so often I think those of us in the transformational space, like identify ourselves through the modality that we use.

00;20;15;22 - 00;20;36;27

Gene Monterastelli

You know, like my primary tool is tapping. I run tapping cue and I run the Tapping Mastery Academy. My primary teaching is the Tapping Mastery Blueprint. I've never described myself as a tap. I don't take that on as an identity. My identity is a helper, is a practical list, is a teacher. Those are the lenses that I approach problems.

00;20;36;29 - 00;21;03;17

Gene Monterastelli

Tapping just happens to be one of the collection of tools that I have access to when I'm doing that. And so for me, by thinking about transformation in a tool agnostic way, it makes creating transformation easier. When I am working with someone as a helper informally or professionally, a client session, or if I'm just trying to solve my own problems by starting with the problem I'm trying to solve, it's so much easier to figure out what the first step is.

00;21;03;17 - 00;21;24;03

Gene Monterastelli

Now, lots of times when we do that, I think I'm solving problem A, and as I solve problem A, I realize it's problem B people have done a transformation in their life. No, this is the problem. And then all of a sudden it's like, oh, that's a symptom. This is actually the problem. But I couldn't get to the root cause unless I, you know, like the way I was described, this is like there is an issue in the cellar.

00;21;24;08 - 00;21;39;06

Gene Monterastelli

It does not matter if I walk in the front door, if I climb in a window, if I come down the chimney, or if I Kool-Aid man my way through a wall, like all I'm trying to do is just get into the building. And then once I'm in the building, I'm trying to figure out, okay, where are the stairs?

00;21;39;12 - 00;21;57;08

Gene Monterastelli

And then once I walk down the stairs. So I'm like, great, now I'm in the basement. Where is the cellar now? Then I'm in the cellar. Where is the cupboard? Like, I'm just trying to find the next thing to get there. And what that does is, again, because it's guided by an outcome, it makes sure I'm doing work that is beneficial.

00;21;57;11 - 00;22;11;02

Gene Monterastelli

And it also makes it so much easier for me because I'm not trying. I'm not trying to get all the way there. I'm just trying to get to the next thing. But it's easier to know what the next thing is, is when I have clarity about what the outcome I'm looking for in the.

00;22;11;06 - 00;22;19;16

Cherie Lindberg

I was just going to say that it sounds like you really get focused and clear on what it is and then go after that. That's what I'm hearing.

00;22;19;18 - 00;22;43;19

Gene Monterastelli

Yeah. And again, like when when someone like when someone is describing something that's wrong and they say, oh, it's painful, it's painful, it's painful. I'm like, okay, that's awesome. So why is this, why is this, what is the significant drag this is creating in your life? Or how is your life better when you solve that? Because the other thing that happens when we start thinking those particular terms is all of a sudden we realize, oh, maybe this isn't actually the problem I need to solve.

00;22;43;20 - 00;22;58;10

Gene Monterastelli

This is a problem. Well, why do I want to solve it? So I could do this thing? Well, you're already doing that thing. Oh, yeah. You're right. You know, like, one of the things that happens a lot in the tapping space is we use subjective units of distress sets level like 0 to 10. How big is it. And that can be useful.

00;22;58;10 - 00;23;18;12

Gene Monterastelli

And that can also get in the way because the moment we have a scale like that we think, well the goal is zero. The goal is transformation. You know, like in a pain circumstance. If I went from a seven to a four, well now maybe I can sit down for two hours, which means I can now go to dinner, or I can go to a movie, which I couldn't before.

00;23;18;15 - 00;23;42;05

Gene Monterastelli

And sometimes I have a level of resistance at a nine, and if I get that resistance to a seven, I can now take action. And other times I have resistance at a four, and I can't take action until the resistance is completely gone. Like the intensity of something doesn't measure how it's impacting my life. And so but again, like this is a reason why I call myself a practical.

00;23;42;05 - 00;24;02;19

Gene Monterastelli

This is I'm just looking for, you know, in marketing terms, we talk about the minimum viable product, like what is the smallest thing that solves the problem. And that's the way I approach transformation. Now, sometimes the smallest thing that solves the problem is me and a client spending 16 client sessions about the relationship with an adult in their childhood.

00;24;02;25 - 00;24;20;06

Gene Monterastelli

We could be doing, you know, between 8 and 16 hours of work. And that's the minimal viable solution. And sometimes the minimal viable, like, like, oh, of clients come to me to tap on an issue. And the reason why they're resisting it is not because there's an emotional block, it's because they don't know how to do it. And they go, well, what if you do A, B, and C?

00;24;20;07 - 00;24;40;09

Gene Monterastelli

I'm like, oh yeah, I could just do that. And so we didn't do any intervention for an emotion that they showed up for, because the moment they had more information, the information went away or the emotion went away, because I now have a plan. And part of the reason this is overwhelming, it's not that this is overwhelming, but it's overwhelming and I don't know how to do it.

00;24;40;11 - 00;24;53;04

Gene Monterastelli

And so that's the reason why it's always like, what's the problem you're trying to solve? Because if the only tool you have is hammer or every problem is a nail, it's a silly cliche, but like, if I only have one thing, that's what I'm always going to do. And so that's why it's so vital for me to be.

00;24;53;09 - 00;25;12;24

Gene Monterastelli

And again, this is my disposition. I'm not saying other practitioners are doing it wrong, but that's the reason why I think about my work. Tool agnostic, even though 98% of the time, if I'm reaching for a tool, it's tapping is because I want to find a solution for a problem. I don't want to tap with a client, and most of the time when I'm doing it, we're going to tap.

00;25;12;26 - 00;25;38;10

Gene Monterastelli

And this is this is the other thing that I'm struggling with as a helper is like, I want to show up looking for outcomes, not agendas. An agenda is I'm going to solve a problem in a particular way. You know, we're going to do inner child work today. You know, like like that is an agenda where if I'm trying to get an outcome, it opens me up to possible paths to transformation that I wouldn't necessarily immediately think of.

00;25;38;12 - 00;26;03;25

Gene Monterastelli

I have a priority stack. And this is this is something we think in terms of technology, and this is how I filter everything through in the work that I do. And the priority stack in order is safe, ethical, useful. And so the place I start is, is the work that we're doing here safe. And in that case, safety is is the person I'm working with safe, and is it safe for me to work with them because of my skill, because of our relationship, because of all of those things that we know as good practitioners.

00;26;03;28 - 00;26;19;10

Gene Monterastelli

The second, is it ethical? Now, hopefully I'm working from a place of ethics and everything that I do, but I think it's a good question to ask. And then after that is how do I how are we useful? You know, I do my group calls with my students, know I pull someone on. It's like, how can I be helpful today?

00;26;19;12 - 00;26;27;28

Gene Monterastelli

That's the phrase I use at the beginning, every single one of my client calls because it's about how am I helpful? Not this is what I do and how I do that thing.

00;26;28;01 - 00;26;47;24

Cherie Lindberg

Awesome. I just, you know, listening to you, it's just like there's a lot of of clarity and I'm hearing action behind what it is. And can you tell me a little bit about all the different ways that you use tapping? I'm hearing classes. I'm hearing still doing the Q&A. Can you share more about the services you provide?

00;26;47;24 - 00;27;07;06

Gene Monterastelli

So so the work I do. Yeah, absolutely. So I obviously work with clients one on one and all sorts of capacities from short term to long term. That's where I truly, truly love. I have a program that I call the Tapping Mastery Academy, which is my primary work at this point, and that is structured in such a way that every month I teach art of delivery, because you can.

00;27;07;06 - 00;27;25;26

Gene Monterastelli

And I have taught tapping with a pen and a bar napkin in three minutes. Like I can teach someone the basics that quickly, but it's it's a tool that, again, like I can teach you how to cut with a knife in three seconds. But there's a difference between whittling a pipe out of wood and carefully cutting vegetables for Thai cuisine.

00;27;25;26 - 00;27;50;23

Gene Monterastelli

And like like there's ways that we use that becomes the art of using the thing. And so every month we do a two hour class where we go back and forth, where one month it's technique, you know, guided imagery, inner child work, and then another month it is application, you know, so grief, money, mindset, clutter, sleep. So one month we get an opportunity to expand the toolbox.

00;27;50;26 - 00;28;12;12

Gene Monterastelli

And the other month we get an opportunity again to do this really, really, really practical work. The other thing that has changed in all of our stuff is in addition to teaching, is every month we create a 7 to 10 day integration process where it's not just you sat and listened for two hours, but here is 7 to 15 minutes every single day in your room.

00;28;12;12 - 00;28;25;13

Gene Monterastelli

Ten days early enough to all ten of them, but it's a chance for you to take the tool, actually use it in your life. And then when we do question answer with you six hours a question answer, we literally just show up and they ask about the tool and we tap and we do all the things.

00;28;25;15 - 00;28;32;18

Cherie Lindberg

Great is there anything that I haven't asked you that would be important? Ask you for the audience.

00;28;32;20 - 00;28;56;23

Gene Monterastelli

In terms of tapping? And as you look at tapping out there and just transformation in general is sometimes the only work we need to do is witness what our lived experiences. So tapping is very much based on words that we say and stuff like that. And one of my favorite versions of tapping and transformation is what we call a content free intervention, where I'm not having you think about anything and not having you say words.

00;28;56;23 - 00;29;21;26

Gene Monterastelli

I'm not having you tell stories. I'm not giving you reframes and simply bearing witness to our emotional experience. Fully articulated emotions are short lived, and every single emotion is just trying to convey a specific piece of information. Frustration. A need is not being met. Sadness and grief. I'm disconnected from something important anger and perceiving an attack overwhelm. I don't have time or resources.

00;29;21;26 - 00;29;41;29

Gene Monterastelli

And so, so often just working with a client recently and she was really, really angry at something that was going on professionally. And I'm like, Craig, you're tapping assignments. Just go. I'm really angry. I'm angry because I'm really angry. I'm angry because. And she's like, and then what? I'm like, the thing is just giving ourselves permission to witness what we're experiencing.

00;29;42;05 - 00;30;07;09

Gene Monterastelli

And so folks who are seeking and are looking for tools, tools are awesome. And we need to have tools, and we need to be given tools in well-formed ways. And we need to know what our boundaries are. When we're working on our own, we need to know what's safe for us a practitioner to be doing. But the thing that I just keep coming back to again and again and again is just like giving ourselves permission to just feel the emotions we're feeling.

00;30;07;09 - 00;30;25;01

Gene Monterastelli

Just narrate my lived experience. This is going on and this is how it makes me feel, and this is what's going on in this. So it makes me feel and this is what's going on, and this is how it makes me feel. And in so many cases, that is sufficient to really, again, in a practical way, allow me to move through my day in a different way.

00;30;25;04 - 00;30;46;25

Gene Monterastelli

And that doesn't mean that's sufficient. You know, I have all the tapping tools under the sun. I every month create tapping tools that I teach to my students to do application. And I also recognize I'm too close to my own stuff sometimes and I need external help. And so and so like having these self-help tools are awesome, and I love the fact that they are available.

00;30;46;25 - 00;31;05;15

Gene Monterastelli

And I teach people to do stuff on their own, but I think that, like, I think we do transformation and tapping a disservice if it's just like, you can go do all of this stuff on your own. You know, when we're when we're doing any tool, I have to be tuning in to what is going on. I need to have a tactical approach, and I need to have a container to be safe.

00;31;05;17 - 00;31;09;17

Gene Monterastelli

And there are some issues in which I can do that for myself. And there's some issues I can't do what's right.

00;31;09;23 - 00;31;15;14

Cherie Lindberg

Right. I completely agree. I mean, we deserve to have space held for us to.

00;31;15;16 - 00;31;33;05

Gene Monterastelli

Yeah. And so and so. Yeah. So as folks are bumping into this amazing tool and I really hope people explore it like, you know, been doing it for 20 years and it has changed my life. And I, you know, I, I've traveled I've traveled with the peaceful Art network to refugee camps and genocide survivors in Rwanda. And I've seen the power of this amazing tool.

00;31;33;08 - 00;32;01;03

Gene Monterastelli

And to also recognize that, like, we want to make sure that we're apply again, there's a difference between trauma informed and trauma competent. Absolutely outstanding. Trauma competency is recognizing what's appropriate, what's not. And so at like if you people who are listening to go explore tapping and there's a bazillion resources online for practitioners and folks that I love and go explore, but like to have that lens of just because I can doesn't mean I should when it comes to using the tool on our own.

00;32;01;05 - 00;32;23;15

Cherie Lindberg

Right? Right. Well, thank you so much for taking your time and coming and and sharing and I really do. And you kind of said this in the very beginning, that the way that you share, like you're you are you're very real and, and you can feel your authenticity and you cut through something to where it's more clear. I don't know how else to say that.

00;32;23;21 - 00;32;27;05

Cherie Lindberg

And maybe you've heard that feedback before, I don't know, but useful.

00;32;27;05 - 00;32;48;02

Gene Monterastelli

Compliment my shoes and tell me I'm useful. I'm yours forever. I'm a very, very simple man. I work really hard to explain things in a way not so people understand it, but hopefully it is useful so that that's that. That's the reason why there is a succinct ness to hopefully there is a succinct ness and a structure to what I'm teaching is because I want to make it accessible so folks actually do it.

00;32;48;08 - 00;33;08;01

Cherie Lindberg

Absolutely. I hear you and thank you so much for your authenticity and your sharing today. We really appreciate you coming on. And we I've said this before too. That's why we search out there who is doing similar work. How are they doing it? And let's spread it out there as much as we can. Because in the world today, we all need tools.

00;33;08;08 - 00;33;20;26

Cherie Lindberg

We all need to hear practical, clear action steps. And that's what I'm hoping too, is that they'll take things and do that next right step for them. So thank you so much for your sharing, Gene.

00;33;20;29 - 00;33;23;29

Gene Monterastelli

You bet my pleasure.

00;33;24;01 - 00;33;51;19

Cherie Lindberg

Really loved what Gene was talking about, being useful and being helpful. And you can clearly hear from his share that he was this tool to get into the hands of folks that are going to use it. And I love I love that idea because he and I want to help people change their lives. And it doesn't. It can be one small step at a time.

00;33;51;21 - 00;34;20;17

Cherie Lindberg

So if you found this podcast helpful and useful, please make sure that you share it with a loved one or somebody you think that could benefit. We love you are helping us expand our listening audience, and we want to make sure that Peaceful Heart Dixie is also going to be a link for all the humanitarian work that they're doing, and Gene participates in that and will make sure that that is in part of the notes as well.

00;34;20;19 - 00;34;29;15

Cherie Lindberg

So as always, until we meet next time, thank you so much for listening and sharing with loved ones.

00;34;29;18 - 00;34;48;13

Narrator

Thank you for joining us on another uplifting journey on Cherie Lindberg's Elevated Life Academy stories of Hope and healing. If you found resonance or connection with what you've heard today, we encourage you to share this episode and consider becoming a subscriber. Please spread the word so others can live an elevated life.