64: The Sacred Unknown: Grief, Play, and Becoming Who’s Next with Megan Malick

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Cherie Lindberg

Hi, I'm Cherie Lindberg and welcome to Elevated Life Academy where we share real stories of healing, hope and transformation. Tune in to hear how everyday people are rising above and lighting the way for others. Welcome to another episode of Elevated Life Academy and I am your host, Cherie Lindberg and today I think we're going to be in for a treat.

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Cherie Lindberg

We're going to have a unique conversation. Our guest here is Megan. I'll let her introduce herself in in just a second, but I met gosh, Megan, I'm trying to remember three years ago now. Has it been that long?

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Megan Malick

Probably still. Ax. Okay.: 2020

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So I met Megan. Yeah, four years ago, and. And she was going through a life transition. I'll let her share about that. And we're going to talk about her story and where she's arrived today. So without further ado, Megan, please introduce yourself.

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Megan Malick

Oh, hi, Cherie I'm Megan, I am a grief coach, an author, facilitator, and a certified brain spotting practitioner. And I like to tell people that I bring soul into the practical realities of life. So helping you find deeper meaning and purpose in the midst of the stuff that you have to do in the real world.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah. So let's, let's talk about that. Let's talk about how we met and what where you were at at that time and what was happening for you.

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Megan Malick

brain spotting in February of: 2022

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Cherie Lindberg

Okay.

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Megan Malick

And about two weeks before that three weeks, my mother died completely unexpectedly. You know, like the kind you see on the news where it's like the person's on the basketball court and they fall over and you say, what happened? And the people are like, I don't know. Well, that's what happened to my mom. I was already signed up to do the level one, and spirit said, do it anyway.

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Megan Malick

And I had emailed you or Paul and probably was Paul. And I was like, I have this. I might need to like, is it okay if I have Chris come out in the training? And he was like, come. So I came and the training helped me begin to be with me. Literally the day the training ended, my father's illness started and he started his death decline.

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Megan Malick

f my parents in the winter of: 2022

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Megan Malick

And when we met more closely at the intensive, I had done level two brain spotting. I'd had this amazing experience in level two, and I was like, there's really something here. And I was working clinically at the time in my own private practice, part time and still working on settling estates. But private practice didn't feel like it fit.

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Megan Malick

And in the middle of the training, I was like, I don't even know what's next. Like, I don't know what my goal is. I don't know where I want to go, I don't know anything, which is very rare because my whole life prior to that, I was like, this is what I want, and this is how I get there.

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Megan Malick

And this is how it is. And I just remember sitting when you were holding the thing and I'm like looking out the window over here and I'm like, all I want to do is play. And that intensive I came home and like, literally, I just couldn't go back into my life the same way. I mean, I needed to do certain things.

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Megan Malick

I was teaching a college class, I was seeing clients, but I knew in my soul I couldn't stay doing this. Like I couldn't make myself go back to be who I was. I needed to allow myself to be who was next, which actually meant a protracted period of like living in this void of unknown ness.

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Cherie Lindberg

Which was both.

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Megan Malick

Incredibly uncomfortable and scary, but also very exciting and creative.

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Cherie Lindberg

So how did you. Because I know our listeners are going to wonder about this. How did you reconcile or how did you let yourself be in that space? Because I know a lot of people, when they get in that space, it's really uncomfortable and they'll like make themselves make a decision or get distracted with something else because it's so uncomfortable to just be with the unknown.

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Megan Malick

It is. I would say there's kind of three things I did. I am a huge writer. I mean, now I have a book that's out in the world, and I have several pieces that have been published, but I have always written myself for myself. So I have discovered that brain spotting and writing go together, and I'll just put a little plug in for the Bone to Brain Journal and the the writing community and the brain spotting community, which I hadn't yet found and it might not even yet existed.

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Megan Malick

But in my own world, that process helped me be with what was. Rather than trying to either suppress it or solve it. I saw you for a couple of coaching sessions, which helped me place it in a larger context of ancestral trauma, as well as, I believe for me personally, past life trauma, my spiritual gifts also started to awaken tremendously over this time.

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Megan Malick

And so although it was uncomfortable, you know, another shout out to Heather Corbett, I joined her VIP community and just started cultivating those gifts that again, didn't solve, but gave me the resource to be there in it. And then the third thing is that literally, if I try to push ahead or do the things that I'd done before in my life, it just blew up.

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Megan Malick

I mean, it was literally like the divine or the universe being like, this is not your time yet. And so I started to kind of recognize that pattern. And as I recognize that and allowed it to be the blowing up happened less and the opening happened more.

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Cherie Lindberg

So let's talk about the opening. So over time, where has this led to? Yeah.

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Megan Malick

So a year ago I closed my private practice and I opened the doors of a new path. One of the pieces of writing that I was working on over the time was kind of documenting my own journey related to, like, what I wish I would have had. So I created a resource for myself to walk my self through the process of settling the estate and grief, and then simultaneously, actually around the time that we were getting to know each other and the the intensive four people in my life, my best friend from growing up, my husband's best friend from growing up and our closest local friend here all had parents put on hospice.

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Megan Malick

All of them were going to be going into this new weirdo role of both losing their parent, but then also having to deal with all this system stuff. And none of the three of them are in professions that really are used to doing that, like a teacher, human resources at a college level, that kind of person. So they started to ask me for help, but I didn't have capacity, so I just started to send them the stuff I created and they were like, this is really good.

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Megan Malick

And so I started sharing more. And basically, long story short, what came out of the opening was a whole book that's now out there, a new path, but also this desire to like, share my inner story. So I started writing and put things out for publication. I got to give a one story. I've met new people in business, and what I thought I was going to be doing was helping people settle their parents or whoever's affairs.

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Megan Malick

And what it's turning into is I actually help resource the professionals that are working with people. So this could be helping financial advisors, attorneys, home care health workers, real estate agents understand a little bit about grief and how they can not be psychotherapists, but just having a little basic understanding of like, what's happening in their clients body and brain so that they can better meet them as well.

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Megan Malick

As I say, I help solopreneurs as well. Oh, prisoners who are heart. Let humans kind of lean in and also deal with the kind of the secondary stuff that comes in and use that as social work to grow who they are, while also helping create some processes. I think too often we look at processes and systems as like, ooh, yuck!

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Megan Malick

But I've cultivated a system that seeks to find the spirit in that, so that should something happen, or should you need to share with somebody else, they can kind of step in and help you.

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Cherie Lindberg

So so talk more about your processes. Give it. Yeah. Some give us some meat on your processes.

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Megan Malick

So related to if you are in a situation where you need some support and help and this could be as a professional or as a person receiving I actually talk about our colleagues, our friends as our trees that help nourish us. And if you're familiar with how trees work, they send nourishment underground. So I actually have a system in the book where it's like, what kind of a tree do you need?

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Megan Malick

An oak trees, like a getter. Done tree. Like they'll come in, they'll run it for you. They'll see your stuff. They'll just they're the person to have do the intensive labor stuff. A weeping willow tree is the person that you call when you're like, I just need somebody to say like, can you just hear me mad, sad, whatever, and not try to squish my emotion?

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Megan Malick

Fruit tree helps distract you. That kind of a thing. And a redwood is can do all of that. So I think distinguishing a the kind of help you need and who are the people that can meet that. Gotcha. The professional helpers I call them the forest rangers. And I think a forest ranger knows the overall journey, the map, but they don't know your territory.

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Megan Malick

So I think when we turn to people and we expect them to know in our own life, we can't. They don't know our life, but they can say, here's this system. And so which forest ranger knows what? So that's a part of it. Then the next part of the systems I would say, is really breaking it down into small digestible pieces related to like, you know, and, and mental health.

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Megan Malick

We have what's called the wellness wheel of like the quadrants of life. Well, I've created something that I call the life, love and Legacy Wheel that's like, what are the practical components that go along with this? And so when something happens in our lives personally or professionally, this needs to be taken care of too. And so how can we bring values?

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Megan Malick

How can we bring spirit into this so that it's not checking something off of a list like, oh, I've dealt with this, but like, well, let me think through who would be the person. So can I use an example of like when I worked with a client with this?

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Cherie Lindberg

Absolutely. Yeah. Please do.

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Megan Malick

So a woman came up and said I have I gave a talk related to something and at a women's entrepreneur thing, and she said, I have my stuff for my life. But hearing you talk, what do you have for people in business? I realize I have nothing for my business. If something were to happen to me beyond like, my husband should do it and I'm thinking, that's probably I need something more than that.

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Megan Malick

And so I listened to her and I got we got her core values and her human design, and I create I do something called an embodied vision session. Now she's in my local area. So I took my brains fighting stuff, my sand tree stuff, my car deck, and we went in and guided. And she kind of led herself through the process of like, what she does now in her business and her primary question was, who's going to take care of my clients?

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Megan Malick

What's going to happen with them? Who calls them? What do they say?

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Cherie Lindberg

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Megan Malick

And so I led her through a process where she intuitively set it, I documented it and went through what all of that would be. And she was able to distinguish like, oh I need three people to help, I want my husband to do X, but I don't want him to have to do stuff with the clients. I need a book.

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Megan Malick

My bookkeeping person, my accountant, can handle this part that goes with the money. It's really who's going to do the interaction in the moment with the clients. Oh, I want to give them three choices. This is what this will be. This is what this will be. And then I have a workbook for people to follow it through related to like actually scripting the things or I help you script the things.

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Megan Malick

And so I would say what I've learned is that when people go about it in the like trying to think about it in the logical way, it brings up all this stuff. But for the people that resonate with me, it's like in there and I just help them bring out what's in here and put it into word. And for me, that's why brain spotting and some of these other modalities that I say, like help stitch our lower brain in our right brain, upper brain together in our left, in our right.

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Megan Malick

Help pull out what?

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Cherie Lindberg

That is very interesting. So what I'm hearing you say is that you support folks in a, a process, but it's more of an in body process is what I'm hearing letting their values and their desires emerge. And then you document it. So then that becomes the plan.

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Megan Malick

Exactly, exactly. And I really like people to think of their documents as like their living legacy and the love letter that they leave to people. I am so not about scaring people into doing this. Yeah, I'm so not about being like, well, what about well, what about yeah, I really believe that this work is core and value centric and soulful, but I also believe it helps you grow into who you are.

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Megan Malick

So, for example, someone else I was talking with and we're kind of in conversation, her business is growing and she is recognizing she's grieving an older version of her business, even though she's actually going exactly where she wants to go.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yes, yes, I've talked to so many people about about this, even like with the coaching that I do, is that people don't understand when you expand, that's beautiful and that's wonderful. And often grief comes with it because you've got to let go of something here to step into there.

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Megan Malick

Exactly. Which is I actually lead workshops called Make Space for grief because I really believe if we spend time making space for it regularly, there's wisdom, gratitude, joy.

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Cherie Lindberg

You're honoring the journey you're making in a meaningful process.

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Megan Malick

Yes. Yeah. And some of this also grows out of my own. You know, I was just talking to somebody and I said, if you want, we could do X, we could do Y, and I said, you know, with the well, I realized I, I created a whole eulogy and memorial service for myself because I needed to do a ritual to close it.

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Megan Malick

It was right to close it. But I have so much gratitude, like I'm. And I needed to have space to grieve the closing of what I thought would be but didn't, to honor like we do often at a memorial service with people's lives, to honor all that the world gave me. Or like 12 or 13 years of good things.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, yeah. And you're you're not only that, but I'm hearing you're also honoring and basically saying goodbye to a part of you that is you're stepping into a new part. Yeah, yeah.

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Megan Malick

All of that. And so I'm very much about embodied way of, of doing, of being, you know, and the other thing that I, there's so much fear in the world right now, and I think our forms and our processes encourage that. And so I'm looking for any way that I can help empower people not to like the form.

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Megan Malick

I don't like the forms. I don't want to have to do the forms. But how can we Akito it a little bit like if I have to do this intake form with this client that's 14 pages long, that I feel like is getting in the way of my doing the good work. How can I use that form as a way to help embody the practice and also build rapport and relationship with somebody?

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah. So I'm hearing again, very relational process. Yes. Very wanting to shift it out of a system and forms and rules and regulations into more of a meaningful relational process.

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Megan Malick

Very, very, very much so. I'm working with a business owner right now, a sole solopreneur who's a helper, who is also looking at expanding beyond. And, you know, we've been looking at what not just her values and her her design and she incorporating brain spotting, but also like, okay, wait a second, when I'm even in the middle of doing this paperwork and I'm feeling this happen, we do, part of my contract with her is co-working, so it will be there.

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Megan Malick

And if she hits a point in the middle where she's like, I feel it's happening like that, the stress has started to hit that not helpful threshold. We stop and we do a little bit to get together, live time and then come back into it.

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Cherie Lindberg

It sounds like to me like a release valve, like you get at a certain point, then you process that whatever that is, to release that so that they can come back in and do the work again.

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Megan Malick

Exactly. And what I'm discovering as I'm doing this with folks is it doesn't take a long time to do that.

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Cherie Lindberg

In.

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Megan Malick

Depth. It just takes some consistent. Right. So every time we hit this point where, you know, we've learned like what in your body is the tell, that's like, I'm hitting my I should stop for a moment now place. And then we do a little spotting or we do a little breathing or I'm level two Reiki. So we could do a little Reiki or like I feel into what is the right and we do that together.

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Megan Malick

But I'm amazed how how quickly that moves through. Or with somebody who thought the grief was going to be about X really ended up becoming about Y, say, as we were moving into the holidays and all of this and, and it was like, okay, so that grief part that's there, it wants this, this is not the time for that, because we're working on your business right now.

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Megan Malick

And you know, when and we actually pulled out the calendar like when on the calendar will you do this.

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Cherie Lindberg

So again, being being very honoring and thoughtful and intentional. Very. Yeah, I would imagine that, you know, as I'm listening to what you're talking about, Megan, like how helpful that would be to help people move through these life transitions, very significant life transitions with maybe. Yeah, I'm looking I'm searching for the words right now of how, I don't know, it just sounds comforting versus you're in it alone.

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Cherie Lindberg

It's this process that everybody goes through because everyone loses their parents at some point. But you're the process that you're you're talking about is you're helping people use this process as basically a, a blossoming of the next them.

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Megan Malick

Yes, that well said. And I think it's all transition.

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Cherie Lindberg

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Megan Malick

I mean there's transition constantly. And I say change equals loss. Loss equals grief. Grief when we face it is growth. My every client I've ever worked with, I think I've probably started off with saying I think all therapy is grief therapy. You're coming here to change. You know, when I was officiating or weddings, I would talk about how grief is a part of the wedding process, that people will look at me like I had three heads.

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Megan Malick

So this is not new to me, but being able to kind of think about how like there's a survival spiraling of grief. But then as you can lean into it, it can become like listening deeper, which leads to like grief is a way of becoming. And that that is, I would say, what I would bring. And I think a lot of our cultural stories are either when we're in the despair spiral of surviving or I finished it and look, I'm done.

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Megan Malick

It looks great, and I like to meet people and help them be in that middle, liminal space where we don't know. And to say, that's not a failure. We just live it differently and things are going to grow. And I'm excited for that. For you.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, I would imagine, you know, depending upon where they're at in their and their process, like you were saying, like in the despair process, it's hard to imagine. I would again, when you're in that place, how things can be different or better or, or good. And so you're there helping them walk through the nitty gritty and also maybe bringing or holding some space for hope for what can change and blossom in the future.

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Megan Malick

All of that. You know, I when I was in ministry, I worked with people in their 80s, but as a psychotherapist, I have not ever worked with someone in their 80s. This fall I worked with someone in their 80s with spouse loss.

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Cherie Lindberg

Which is huge.

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Megan Malick

If for a whole host of reasons. And I would say exactly what you're saying. First of all, I was a good teacher for me because I wouldn't have thought to introduce brain spotting to somebody in their 80s. But I took the risk, and we were able to find a spot that felt a little, that shifted and felt a little more open.

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Megan Malick

It felt lighter than it had felt the whole time. And so it might sound small, but it was like, here's this little spot that you can go to.

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Cherie Lindberg

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Megan Malick

It won't take it away. But then that kind of became an anchor.

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Cherie Lindberg

I just see so many applications for this as year as you're talking and thinking about. I had a client that was scared to work with someone who was terminal, so I consulted with them and helped them hold the brain spot and the space for their client who was terminal, who was making those decisions about legacy and, you know, preparing the family and writing down all their desires and all that.

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Cherie Lindberg

And that person did end up passing away. And my client said to me, you know, what a beautiful process it was that she got to hold the space while that client was preparing to transition.

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Megan Malick

Oh, I have the.

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Cherie Lindberg

Goosebumps all over.

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Megan Malick

You know, when I was in ministry. And so getting to do chaplaincy and things, it's not that it's easy, but there's something very sacred about holding space for people as they're reckoning with the deepest questions of life. And there's something about preparing our documents at whatever stage you are, that makes you look at mortality. And I think that can be a very life enriching and exciting, joyful and sometimes even playful place.

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Megan Malick

And yet, I mean, I certainly wasn't trained in school psychotherapy school to hold that kind of space.

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Cherie Lindberg

Right.

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Megan Malick

And so and I don't think a lot of folks are we don't do that. We fight death. Our medical system is about like fighting death, curing it. And I'm not saying I don't want people to get treatment or any of those things, and I don't think that death is the end or the enemy.

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Cherie Lindberg

Where has this all led you to now? Like, what are what is, you know, are you in different situations with folks? I mean, many different situations.

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Megan Malick

So yeah, yeah, in: 2025

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Megan Malick

And so I kind of hold their space and help them with their own process so that it can then ripple outward in that parallel process, almost like in, I guess in traditional psychotherapy, like having a supervisor or consultation, but much more focused on process and grief. And how do you build embodied practices in with yourself and the clients that you're serving?

00;25;11;19 - 00;25;44;12

Megan Malick

And then with my book, trying to resource in a wider way both those who are working with like funeral homes, death doulas, end of life planning centers, financial advisors, and also individual families who are looking for a resource for their families to have a conversation, to open a conversation. But I'm moving away from doing the direct work with the person who's experiencing the loss or planning for their death, to helping the people who are working with that.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, so supporting the supporters.

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Megan Malick

Supporting the supporters, and then trying to teach them some of these embodied practices that I found so transformative and healing in my own life. Not to say that they have to become a certified brain spotting therapist, or a licensed marriage and family therapist, or a grief coach, or like. But to say, hey, here are some of these things, these ways of being that might nourish you and those you serve them.

00;26;12;22 - 00;26;22;00

Cherie Lindberg

Beautiful, beautiful. Is there anything that I haven't asked you that would be important to share with our listeners?

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Megan Malick

I can't think of anything right off the top of my head.

00;26;24;29 - 00;26;50;28

Cherie Lindberg

Okay, well, we will make sure that all your socials are connected to this podcast so that if people would like to reach out and I, to be honest, I might be reaching out for my own appointment too, because I really want to be thoughtful too, about how, you know, I'm I'm 57. My hope is that I'm going to be working beyond my 70s if I'm healthy and I feel good because I love what I do.

00;26;51;00 - 00;27;05;19

Cherie Lindberg

But I also want to be very thoughtful. What how you started off this podcast, having a plan for like when something does happen to me, there's this plan that somebody can follow and and make it a meaningful process for everybody that's involved.

00;27;05;22 - 00;27;34;05

Megan Malick

Yeah, that will be wonderful. I am actually Cherie I'm in the process and it's not hit the press yet. So that's why I of designing a container. I'm going to run a beta group this year. So I mean it would be an investment but smaller to say what happens if we bring a small group of intentional solopreneurs together to walk through this process to support each other in it, to come up with a plan and to potentially also find people that that would be trustworthy others.

00;27;34;08 - 00;27;38;11

Megan Malick

Because our closest if something happens to us, our closest people are going to be affected.

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Cherie Lindberg

Too, right? Absolutely.

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Megan Malick

So it's like from a tree perspective, you know, the closest trees are going to need maybe an outer tree. And so I want to see if we can help people find some outer trees.

00;27;50;12 - 00;27;58;05

Cherie Lindberg

That sounds wonderful. Well, thank you so much for coming today and sharing about your experience, and I wish you well on your continued journey.

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Megan Malick

Thank you. Cherie thanks so much,

00;28;04;08 - 00;28;28;13

Cherie Lindberg

Thank you for joining us today. An Elevator Life Academy stories of hope and healing. As you move back into your world, I invite you to take a breath and hold on to whatever stirred something in you from our podcast today. Healing isn't always loud, but it is always sacred. Whether today's story opened your heart, gave you a new perspective, or just reminded you that you are not alone, it matters.

00;28;28;13 - 00;28;48;14

Cherie Lindberg

And so do you. Keep choosing alignment. Keep trusting your becoming. And remember the elevated life is imperfect. It's present. If this episode resonated. Share it with someone who needs a little more light. And if you're ready to go deeper in your own journey, you know where to find me. And till next time, stay rooted, stay rising and stay you.