73: Melanie Twite: Why Trauma-Informed Isn’t What You Think It Is

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Cherie Lindberg

Hi, I'm Cherie Lindberg and welcome to Elevated Life Academy where we share real stories of healing, hope and transformation. Tune in to hear how everyday people are rising above and lighting the way for others.

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Cherie Lindberg

Welcome to another episode of Elevated Life Academy and I am your host, Cherie Lindberg. And we have our guest today, Melanie Twite. And we are going to talk about trauma literacy for healers. And so I'll have Melanie introduce herself where she's from. And then we're going to get into our conversation. As you know these are spontaneous conversations. And we just see where we take them.

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Cherie Lindberg

So good morning Melanie. Good morning Cherie.

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Melanie Twite

Thank you. I'm so excited to be here with you. So yeah, I'm Melanie Twite I am located in Meridian, Idaho, which is a suburb of Boise, Idaho. I have a private practice here, and I'm also a brain spotting consultant, and I work mostly with complex PTSD, developmental trauma, recovery from toxic relationships, whatever. We want to label that. It's something that I've been doing without knowing it from the beginning of my career, but that's what I do.

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Melanie Twite

And then I have ethics classes that I teach. And then there's the brain spotting.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, we'd love to hear more about this, because I know, I remember when you started to design this and you were talking about how healers, you know, that call themselves, you know, trauma informed. And then you were finding out that there.

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Melanie Twite

Was.

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Cherie Lindberg

A need for just your basic literacy and trauma. So can you talk a little bit about that?

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, I think that what I really started to see, probably over the last ten, ten, 11 years, as trauma has become more in the forefront of our profession and a lot more people talking about it. We I really see this word trauma informed kind of all over the place on people's profiles on, you know, as they're talking about what they do.

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Melanie Twite

And we don't have a lot of insistence in how we define that word or what it actually means. And so I really started looking at what people are saying. So they would say, like, if I went to go get trained in like eMDR or brain spotting, they're trauma informed. And there really is a difference between knowing a treatment modality that is designed to treat trauma and really understanding what trauma is and what trauma informed means.

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Melanie Twite

And he would kind of mix up trauma awareness with trauma informed that we're aware of it. And so it really affects how we how we sit with our clients because we don't always understand what we are seeing, what they are experiencing, what their body is doing, where their negative cognitions come from, why they are struggling with their relationships.

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Melanie Twite

And so I really felt like it's important for maybe to create this cohesiveness around some of our terminology and especially trauma literacy. So for me, I think sometimes, you know, like when I go see a physician who was taught how to do stitches without taking an anatomy and physiology class, I wouldn't because because they know how to stitch something up.

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Melanie Twite

But do they know what they're stitching up? And so for me, it was clinicians. We are basically taught how to do stitches, how to do trauma work without really understanding and neurobiology, biology, physiology of trauma.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah. So what I'm hearing you say is that you wanted to go into the foundations, help them understand on a deeper level because they didn't have foundation. They had all this, this knowledge, but they didn't have maybe like the why why it's this way, that kind of thing. Is that what you're saying.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. So, so my background so my degree is actually a marathon family therapy. And so I learned in grad school and the first part of my career about attachment right. Attachment styles, family systems, dysfunctional family systems, all of those things that we see in our clients. And I realized as a my colleagues, you had a counseling degree but didn't have the marriage and family.

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Melanie Twite

time, and then this was like: 2006

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Melanie Twite

But now I'm like, well, duh.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, yeah.

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Melanie Twite

So some of those foundations, we're just not taught. We're not taught in grad school. We're not there's not a lot of posses out there about trauma or say. And so I think the foundations help us be better clinicians and use our modalities to their full capacity.

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Cherie Lindberg

It's almost like trauma, neurobiology, physiology 101 or something like that. Back in the day when I went to this is a little bit ago, we did not have a trauma class. And I know I've taught some of the trauma classes, but even just one trauma class isn't really enough for the amount of trauma that's that's out there. Do you know, is that something that is happening in grad school is that they're expanding the understanding of trauma, or do you still feel people come out of grad school without having that knowledge?

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Melanie Twite

I think that having any class at all in trauma is still the rarity. I've I've done some research and looking just kind of looking at what rad schools across the board teach and unfortunately should be like a lot of the curriculum is the same exact 21 years ago they the same exact classes. So there are handful of universities that will have like a class.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, but unfortunately a lot of those are still focusing on events. Right. Like war or natural disaster or they're not focusing on interpersonal trauma. Or are there an elective or it's a three hour class and it's it's just not enough. So that's this course is designed to teach the systems in which trauma occurs. So the family system, generational trauma, community trauma, cultural trauma.

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Melanie Twite

So all the like all of the experiences, the different kinds of trauma. Right. Like there's different categories. The biology of trauma, like what's happening in ourselves and our DNA on epigenetics immunology psycho.

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Melanie Twite

Aces, how it affects our health. So all of all of that is part of this, this course really it is like travel 101 how it shows up in our adaptive coping skills and way beyond just, you know, what is out there now. You fight. Freeze.

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Cherie Lindberg

Well, I know it's only been the last few years that they've talked about fawning. And I mean, there's so many apps, fawning, fragmentation, you know, all these, you know, they're expanding the F of.

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Melanie Twite

But what does that look like? Right. And like in real time. And so then we take that knowledge base. And the third part of this training is what does that look like when it's sitting in front of you, especially in brain spotting. Right. What does that look like? What are you seeing?

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Cherie Lindberg

What are some of your top surprises when you teach this, this class?

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Melanie Twite

I think that some of my top surprises is that we are still thinking of trauma as the event. We focus too heavily on trauma being the event and not seeing the connection between those traumatic experiences, traumatic stress responses, and what we see physiologically and any knowledge. And in that the immune system and that these coping skills that we can't just think about them differently, but we can't just teach them a skill.

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Melanie Twite

I had somebody in yesterday that was has been through CBD classes and DBT classes, and when they started to struggle, started to try to use all those skills. And they have so much shame, so much shame because they just can't use the skill.

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Cherie Lindberg

Well, yeah. And they don't understand that they can't use the skills because it's not cognitive. It is in the central nervous system. It's an imprint inside there. And so until you clear it out of the neurobiology you're going to keep hitting a block.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. And I think and also I think one of the biggest surprises is that we still I believe that we still teach things backwards, right. That the goal of healing is to get your cognitive brain online so that you can be rational. And I'm like, that's not the goal of healing is not to be more rational. The goal of healing is to be more present and regulated in day to day life.

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Melanie Twite

And so people really still, even all that we know about trauma, still kind of have this view that we need to be more rational. And that's the goal.

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah. I mean, I'm just thinking of our Western culture and that we are sympathetically dominant, you know, like go, go, go, go, crash. And so being present is, I think, something that a lot of folks don't even understand because there's a lot of unconsciousness out there.

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Melanie Twite

I don't remember. Maybe you'll know who this quilt came from. I, I think it might be dynasty, but I can't remember exactly. But it says we believe that we are thinking creatures with the ability to feel, and really, we are feeling creatures with the ability to think. That's a great quote.

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Cherie Lindberg

I don't know who said that, but.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, I think, yeah, I like I think it's oh, I can't remember, but it's. Yeah. So yeah. So I think that's one of the biggest surprises that we just don't realize how systemic the whole system is affected.

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Cherie Lindberg

And I would even say that there's a huge disconnection, even between the regulatory boards that we face, because there's so many people that don't understand the bottom up therapies and how important that is, and that all this information, including trauma, comes into the body first, and then we tell a story about it, right?

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, yeah. It's like the second part, right. Like the meaning making. You had like theory as it comes into the body. And then we have, you know, trying to make sense of it, trying to make meaning out of it. But how do you make meaning as something that's biological, that's coming from your cells and your nerves and not your thoughts, right.

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Cherie Lindberg

Well, there's this big boom out there about nervous system regulation. Now, now that we're knowing knowing more about it and I I'll, I'll admit I'm on that bandwagon too. But in terms of helping people know that the reason you're blocked or the reason you're struggling, just like what you were saying is that you can't use your adaptive coping tools that you've learned.

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Cherie Lindberg

If it's in your central nervous system and it's stuck in there because, like, it's not a logical thing. It's a nervous system thing.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. Is it a deck of survival? Right. Stay safe. I think you saw me roll your eyes because I was getting burnt out on that phrase a little bit, because I believe that, yes, nervous system regulation. But again, being a brain spotter, I'm like, if we're constantly having to regulate our nervous system, something is unhealed. We really need to talk about as nervous system healing our nervous system.

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Melanie Twite

I don't know what we forget. This is like it's a self-governing system, just like all the rest of our systems. Like we really should never have to pay attention to it. It regulates its own self. So if it's drawing our attention to it, it's because something is not okay. Right? So if we're constantly having to regulate, regulate, regulate like.

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Cherie Lindberg

That means that there's imprints in there that need to be cleared out.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. Yeah. That need to be healed. Yeah. Then we shouldn't then it should go back to doing its job. And we should only have to pay attention to it when there's actually a threat in front of us.

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Cherie Lindberg

Right. Well, too bad we're not the antelopes on the Serengeti, where we just shake it off and then everything's fine. But we don't. We don't do that as human beings because we. When our bodies shake or our muscles tremble, we're like, what's wrong with me, right? Instead of knowing that and again, this is probably where your class comes in, knowing that that is a natural response to healing.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, natural and necessary. And you just you look at the world differently, like I just recently had surgery and they're coming out and they're trying to make you really comfortable and give you all these drugs. And I'm like, I need my system to be able to decide whether it needs this pain, like if it can regulate it its own self before I start adding things into it, because otherwise I will keep it from doing its job.

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Melanie Twite

And I get these looks from the nurses like.

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Cherie Lindberg

What are you talking about?

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. What are you talking about? And I'm like, no, I don't want your warming blanket just yet because my body needs to shake off this anesthesia. Yeah, we truncate those natural processes there. It gets stuck. Yeah, but they looked at me like, what are you talking about?

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Cherie Lindberg

I mean, that's another area, I think E.R. and doctors and so forth. They might say they're trauma informed, but these are some of those simple things that they may not understand about neurobiology and how it works and how the body heals itself.

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Melanie Twite

Right? How the body kills itself. And so that was one of the things I think that we have. SAMHSa actually has done all of this great work. I didn't know about it until I started researching for this class that DMC has eight steps in a trauma informed practice, starting with trauma awareness, going all the way down to a trauma informed.

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Melanie Twite

And the last step in that is using a modality. So there's all these other steps that need to be in place in terms of safety, understanding responses and reactions. And and then we the last one is using our modalities, which I thought was very fascinating. And then APA in 12 years ago published well core competencies were informed care.

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Melanie Twite

So these are the ten core competencies that psychologists should possess in order to treat trauma. And I'm like, wow, I didn't even know that these standards existed until I started researching it.

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Cherie Lindberg

I just wonder in those standards that you were looking at, did they talk about the body?

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Melanie Twite

ou know, advanced for the day: 2014

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Cherie Lindberg

So what what do you find are some of your challenges in bringing this workshop out to to folks?

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Melanie Twite

The biggest challenge is that people want to pay for techniques and they don't necessarily want to pay for knowledge. I think that's what I is, one of the biggest challenges for the present position that because they learned eMDR, brain spotting, IFS, somatic experiencing, that they know about trauma. So they don't they don't. We just don't see our own gaps in training.

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Cherie Lindberg

That makes a lot of sense. I mean, I come across that too when I teach brain spotting in parts. A lot of folks are like, well, what do I do when this happens? And it's like, it doesn't work that way, right?

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Melanie Twite

Right. Yeah. And I've really seen that shift again. We've been doing this for a while right when I started. And I'm sure when you started we were generalists, right. Nobody's specialized in anything. We just had to. We just worked with whatever showed up in the office. So now with this special specialization, I think we're missing some of that whole body, whole person approach.

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Melanie Twite

How do I treat depression instead of I have a human being sitting in front of me, right. With depression? How do I help them? Right.

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Cherie Lindberg

Well, that's attunement. I mean, talking about attunement. And I think that is missing quite often. And you can teach it to a certain extent, but it also what's really big, I think, is the presence, like you were saying, the presence of the healer, the coach, the therapist, that is the core of it.

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Melanie Twite

That is the Corvette. And that is why I developed the aura framework, is it focuses more on that part. So here's your trauma foundation, the knowledge piece. Right. The information piece. And then the second part, which is one of the core competencies is clinician presence regardless of modality. You know that that therapeutic relationship is the most influential factor in positive outcomes.

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Melanie Twite

And so really helping clinicians understand that attunement isn't just sitting there and listening non-judgmental. It is lending that neurobiological support. Can you see can you tell it? Can you make adjustments based on what you're witnessing?

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, because I mean, I talk about this a lot too. I'm really hearing what you're saying, Mani, in that when we sit in presence that clients neurobiology syncs up with our neurobiology, we are the grounding force. And that helps them be able to go where they need to go.

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Melanie Twite

And I think in brain spotting and really in any with our clients. So we actually are managing three nervous systems. It's the client's nervous system, our nervous system and the nervous system that is happening between the two of us. Right. So there's there's three dynamic factors that are being managed. And so the aura framework really is not another technique or another tool.

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Melanie Twite

It really is a clinician focus. Let me invest in you. How can we help you stay grounded regulated. Know where your window of tolerance is right. Like so. Have a window of tolerance that can be right activated and are. Do you pay attention to your own self so that you can stay present and attuned and resonate without, without you being outside of your window of tolerance?

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Melanie Twite

I thought you right, right. And that's it isn't a skill. It is, but it is something I think we miss because we're. So again, focus on safety just means you can come in and talk about whatever's going on without being judged. And it goes a lot deeper.

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Cherie Lindberg

Than that. Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm just thinking about I was talking to some new clinicians recently and like, they don't have choices about what clients they get, their agencies that they work at are like, here's who you're working with. They're like, well, what do I do if what they're giving me is outside my window of Colorado? I've tried to go and we talk about, well, if this is, you know, not in your scope of practice referral.

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Cherie Lindberg

We talk about like these black and white ethics, but then we work for agencies that are like, well, here's your client. Like this is I'm telling you, this is the client. So a lot of clinicians don't feel like they feel empowered to make choices.

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Melanie Twite

doing trauma work until like: 2016

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Melanie Twite

That stuff's scary, right? Like, I like I don't want to sit there and talk about that stuff all day. I didn't want to do that. And so I really had to learn to be a therapist because my clients demanded it like they needed me to be do this work. And but we don't have trainings on how do we learn how to expand our, our window tolerance.

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Melanie Twite

And I talk about this in this workshop too, is that a significant amount of healers are people pleasers, right? We grew up regulating other people's nervous systems. And so when our clients get dysregulated, we feel like we're doing something wrong or we had to fix it or that was we. Oh, I did that. I made that worse for them.

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Melanie Twite

And we're not even aware that that's what's going on inside of us, right? Right. It's like, oh, that's actually me. I'm distressed. I'm outside my window, my client's fine. I'm missing.

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Cherie Lindberg

And I mean, we get these double messages, too, because when you're in grad school, you know, they're telling you it's not your job to fix the client. And then you get into an agency and it's like, okay, you've got six sessions and you need to decrease anxiety by 60% in succession. So it's like it's this double whammy, right?

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Cherie Lindberg

There's so much inconsistency.

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Melanie Twite

Yes. Yes there is. Yeah there is I and I when I teach my the ethics classes, we talk about competencies and what we need to do to be actually competent when we use the term trauma informed. Right. Like what does that actually look like. What does that mean? And I'm like, you know, this dates me, but we get out of grad school.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. You sit with your first handful of clients and you realize like, oh, I didn't actually learn anything about treating anxiety. And so, you know, I, you know, we used to run to the filing cabinet and look for worksheets, you know, and and I was like, oh, and here's a protocol and here's how you can do this. And I'm like, yeah, I didn't learn how to do any of that.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. And then so much I noticed as I work with interns and when they become licenses that license, they feel like they need to be so much more competent than they were three weeks ago before they got their license. Like, you sound the same skill. Set your license. Yeah.

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Cherie Lindberg

It's like building that internal muscle, like you said, expanding your own capacity over time. So does the class talk about how to have that separation too, so that we so that they don't take on.

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Melanie Twite

The trauma off the client?

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah.

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Melanie Twite

So I really try to focus again like this part is a is for the clinician. Like this is where I invest in you to help you be what you wanted to be in the first place. Right. Like nobody got into this profession to treat anybody. We got in the progression to help people. So you know David talks about that dual attunement with the client.

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Melanie Twite

But we actually also have to be paying attention to what's happening inside of us. So focusing on can you again hold space and a change of your client that also be paying attention to what is happening in your body? What are your thoughts? What what's pressure? Where are you getting activated? What are you like? Are you sitting there going, oh my gosh, I need to help this person.

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Melanie Twite

I need to help this person and feeling your own anxiety and be able to manage it and regulate it in real time. And then also, I really emphasize this idea of compassion, like I think Borat is one talks about you are a compassionate witness. Yes. And compassion really helps us stay separate. Yes, I am here with you as a witness, but I'm not in it with you if I get in it with you.

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Melanie Twite

Nobody's helping anybody. Yes.

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Cherie Lindberg

And I, I totally get that. There's a lot of research out of Germany around compassion. Olga Clemente, and then I can't remember. The other singer is the other last name. And they they talk about this very much about being able to teach even compassion, so that there is that differentiation that you're talking about. So, so important. Yeah. Because otherwise our pain centers in our brains light up because we go into the pain with the client if we don't have that separation.

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Cherie Lindberg

So I hear you on that one. That's so important. So that we can do this work.

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Melanie Twite

So that we can do this work. I think passion also helps us to stop focusing on I'm treating a diagnosis or or trying to reduce symptoms. And that again like technique driven or so I think that that compassion allows us to stay out of the weeds. I think sometimes of the trauma work. Right. Like the weeds of, oh, I've got to tell this person that you have to be able to tell their whole story, or I need to fix this for them, or I need to.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah, I think a good subconsciously we keep thinking we have to undo the events, right? Like I yeah, but can I do the event? No.

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Cherie Lindberg

What happened? Yeah. The thing that's coming up is you're talking is how many? And I see this so often in new clinicians to their attached to that outcome. And it's like, well clients are going to come and clients are going to go. And if you're attached to that outcome, like if you're client leaves, what's that going to do to your central nervous system if you're not to that outcome.

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Melanie Twite

Yeah. And again, that the outcome is is hinged on you that that becomes performance based therapy. Right. Like in order for me to feel capable and competent, my clients owed me only a certain outcome. They have to get better or they can't be struggling. And again, our clients can feel all of that. Right. When I'm working with consultees often again we have this.

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Melanie Twite

Oh my gosh I have this great thing and I, I want my clients to experience this. I want them to get relief. And I'm like you do know that neurobiological. You're putting pressure on your clients to perform for you. It's your want. It's your desire for want. Those things that if we are feeling that strongly inside of ourselves, our client, they pick that up, right?

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Cherie Lindberg

Yeah, they'll pick up that. We have an agenda and they go into compliance. Absolutely.

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Melanie Twite

Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Yes, yes. There's this book called The History of Intelligence. It's not even a therapy book. It's just the history of intelligence. But it talks about how we can feel people's intent towards us. Right? That's part of it. And presence and compassion. So.

00;26;28;24 - 00;27;09;25

Cherie Lindberg

So anything that I haven't asked you that would be important for our listeners to know about your your class, any other shares that you think would be important to highlight so that they know about this wonderful class? And my hope is that, you know, anyone that can be with a beginner's mind will consider taking it so that they have a really good foundation, because I think, like you said, I think they'd be surprised at how much they probably don't know if they were just pushed right out of grad school and into I mean, I've even had I've had therapists that have come to me who have been in the field 15 years and have never

00;27;09;25 - 00;27;21;03

Cherie Lindberg

done their own personal work, and they're shocked to recognize the neurobiology piece as well. So I don't want it to cross that this is just for newbies.

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Melanie Twite

phase two trainings now since: 2020

00;27;44;15 - 00;28;09;27

Melanie Twite

Right. So both as the when they're the client and when they're there and they don't know what to do with it. And it gets overwhelming for them. And so I would say this class really is about knowledge helps us with uncertainty, which sounds really counterintuitive, right? But knowledge is not to be like I know exactly what's happening, but it helps with clarity.

00;28;10;00 - 00;28;31;21

Melanie Twite

Oh, I know why that climate system is getting activated right now. I, I right. So it's helps with capacity as well. So they normalizes it. So that really is I watch and I've watched it you know and the questions that come up and phase one and phase two. And so I really develop this workshop to help answer some of those questions.

00;28;31;22 - 00;28;50;13

Melanie Twite

Yeah. So that they that they are feeling more, they can expand their capacity to sit with whatever is in front of them because they, they have a better foundation of understanding what they're witnessing with their experiencing what they are, what's happening in front of them. Not so that we can lead with certainty, but we can just leave clarity.

00;28;50;19 - 00;28;51;06

Melanie Twite

Right.

00;28;51;07 - 00;29;23;03

Cherie Lindberg

Well, and I would I would recommend this to therapists, coaches, you know, psychologists because even coaches so that they can really learn to identify when it goes out of their scope of practice, when you're going into more consistent trauma territory versus working on a goal or something like that. So this workshop can be for for any of those folks that that work with people that are wanting to achieve or wanting to heal, it'd be good information.

00;29;23;04 - 00;29;53;11

Melanie Twite

Yeah, basically it's like Grad school 101. This should be the very first class we ever learn in grad school before we ever learn anything else. Yeah. Which is what is what is happening with our clients and how can we sit with what we are seeing? Because we now have a foundational understanding of what trauma actually looks like in real time, and then how using the neuro experience model and these body based approaches, why they're so important and why they're so effective.

00;29;53;12 - 00;29;57;12

Melanie Twite

So that really is the course in a nutshell.

00;29;57;13 - 00;30;08;04

Cherie Lindberg

Well, thank you. Thank you so much for coming and talking to us and unpacking it for us. And we'll make sure that everybody has links so that they can reach out to you and learn more about the course.

00;30;08;07 - 00;30;11;04

Melanie Twite

And it's good. Thank you so much for having me. It's good to see you. Good to talk.

00;30;11;05 - 00;30;16;15

Cherie Lindberg

Good to see you too.

00;30;16;17 - 00;30;40;21

Cherie Lindberg

Thank you for joining us today on Elevated Life Academy. Stories of hope and healing. As you move back into your world, I invite you to take a breath and hold on to whatever stirred something in you from our podcast today. Healing isn't always loud, but it is always sacred. Whether today's story opened your heart, gave you a new perspective, or just reminded you that you are not alone, it matters.

00;30;40;21 - 00;31;01;02

Cherie Lindberg

And so do you. Keep choosing alignment. Keep trusting your becoming. And remember the elevated life isn't perfect. Its present. If this episode resonated. Share it with someone who needs a little more light. And if you're ready to go deeper in your own journey, you know where to find me. Until next time. Stay rooted, stay rising and stay you.